Pranks Calls To Elderly Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for pranks calls to elderly comic strips. Discover the best "Pranks Calls To Elderly" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #totally correct, #time under budget, #give up features, #shoebox falloff yarn, #yarn is free, #open door policy, #serious threat, #new design

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Dilbert pokes his head into the boss's office and says: "You were totally correct." Dilbert says to the boss: "We can develop the product on time and under budget." Dilbert says to the boss: "All we have to do is give up some features." Dilbert says to the boss: "For example, the original design called for a scalable wide area network switch..." Dilbert says to the boss while extending his arms: "...with multiprotocol support and full network diagnostics." Dilbert shows a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "The new design calls for a shoebox full of yarn." The boss is looking at the sheet of paper while Dilbert says to him: "So we're in good shape...assuming yarn is free." The boss says to Dilbert: "You're a serious threat to my open door policy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stirrup pants, #not professional, #filed patent, #50 million dollars, #earn license fees, #comapny, #various pant crises

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The Boss calls Alice as she is walking by: "Alice!" The Boss tells Alice: "Stirrup pants are not professional attire." Alice explains: "I just filed a patent that will earn fifty million in license fees for the company." The Boss is impressed: "Really? Wow." He continues: "But its no excuse for bad pants." Alice says: "Whatever. Did you sign the budget request I gave you last week?" The Boss answers: "No... I've been busy with various pant-related crises." The stirrup pants are pulled over the Boss's head. He thinks: "Here's another."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales call, #long distance, #how long?, #50 miles long, #don't know anyone

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The Boss' phone rings and he thinks to himself, "Again? That thing rang last week, too." A telephone company representative calls the Boss. "Hello. May I interest you in long distance phone service?" The Boss replies, "How long is it?" The telephone representative answers, "Umm...it's very long. Extremely long." The Boss replies in a demanding manner with one arm thrust in the air, "I need to know exactly how long it is!" The Boss continues to say, "If it's too short I'll have to shout the last mile! I hate that." The telephone respresentative replies, "Okay...it's fifty miles long." The Boss responds, "No, thanks. I don't know anyone fifty miles away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I have the ability to quantify the unquantifiable. "That is why they call me Dogbert the quantifier." "Who calls you that?" "Eight people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #customer calls, #can't deliver on time, #features needed, #getting waterboarded, #birthday, #price went up

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Dilbert: My project is on hold. Do you need any help on yours? Alice: Sure. Call these customers and tell them we can't deliver on time or with the features they need. Dilbert: Do you have any tasks that don't feel like getting waterboarded on your birthday? Alice: And tell them the price went up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #request, #broken computer, #borrow one, #selfish tools, #coffee stirres

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Dilbert says, "I didn't work on your request this week because my computer is broken and my company is too cheap to replace it." Dilbert says, "I tried to borrow one, but the people I work with are a bunch of selfish tools." A man says, "Maybe I shouldn't take you on sales calls." Dilbert says, "So I built a tiny fort out of coffee stirrers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss calls, #vacation, #counter productive policies, #victims of ignorance

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The Boss says, "Is everything okay since I left for vacation?" Carol says, "Better than ever." Carol says, "Counterproductive policies have been eliminated, and we are no longer victims of ignorance." The Boss thinks, "Man, I don't like the sound of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #imitates german, #secretary, #complaint service, #calls loser

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Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert says, "Please hold while I escalate your complaint about my service." Dogbert says, "Hallow. Dis ees Doogbert's sooper-biser. You are a stupid, stupid, loooser." Dogbert says, "Ookay, pleeze hoold while I escooolade eben furder."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elderly, #old, #phone, #landline phones, #no caller id, #new technology, #offered hard candy, #fiddlesticks, #couldn't hear

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We surveyed a thousand people who still have landline phones and no caller I.D. We asked for their opinion on our new technology. 34% said, "Fiddlesticks," and 23% couldn't hear the question. 43% thought we were in the room with them and offered us a hard candy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product, #front, #meeting, #block of wood, #cell phone, #network, #cool, #business, #technology

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Dogbert says, "Our new product is a useless block of wood." Dogbert says, "When customers complain that it won't make phone calls, we'll blame the network." The Boss says, "Who would want? whoa, this is cool." Dogbert says, "You'd be lucky to have one."