Prevent Success Comic Strips - Page 9
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195 Results for Prevent Success
View 81 - 90 results for prevent success comic strips. Discover the best "Prevent Success" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 13,
2018
Hard Work Is The Key To Success
Tags #Advice, #manager, #self-interest, #motivation
Transcript
Asok: What is the key to success? Boss: Hard work! Asok: Is it a coincidence that your advice for me corresponds to your self-interest? Boss: My other advice is never question authority.
Saturday February 23,
2019
Hard Work Is The Key
Tags #Advice, #office, #office workers, #success, #difficult
Transcript
Boss: The key to your personal success is hard work. Dilbert: Was it hard for you to learn that? Boss: No, it was easy. Dilbert: Do you mind if I get my advice from someone who worked it at harder?
Wednesday May 22,
2019
Wally Has Best Excuse
Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #success
Transcript
wally: i was tempted to succeed this week, but i caught myself in time. wally: success would improve my odds of mating, and i don't think you want more people like me in this world. the boss: that is officially the best excuse for not working that i have ever heard. wally: shhh! don't compliment me in public!
Monday June 24,
2019
How To Reduce Turnover
Tuesday July 23,
2019
The New Consultant
Monday July 29,
2019
Can't Succeed Within The Rules
Tags #business, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #rules, #success
Transcript
dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.
Monday January 27,
2020
Mind Reader
Tags #business, #plan, #sabotage, #mind reader, #success, #apology
Transcript
dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.
Wednesday October 07,
2020
Everyone But Ted
Tags #business, #project, #success, #thank, #twice, #hear, #slow, #coffee, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert video conferencing: i'd like to thank everyone who made the project a huge success. except for ted, who made everything twice as hard as it needed to be. ted: i can hear you. dilbert: you're slowing us down again, ted.
Tuesday February 02,
2021
General Incompetence
Tags #business, #technology, #project, #success, #expectations, #destroy, #incompetent, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: in summary, my project was successful beyond all expectations. Colleague: my relative lack of success this year makes me hate you and want to destroy you. dilbert: what's stopping you? colleague: general incompetence. same thing that killed all of my projects.
Saturday April 09,
2011
Tags #inventions, #managers & supervisors, #portal, #parallel uiverse, #more prodcutive, #universe, #cops, #alice killed boss, #business
Transcript
Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."