Prince Insufficient Light Comic Strips - Page 9
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95 Results for Prince Insufficient Light
View 81 - 90 results for prince insufficient light comic strips. Discover the best "Prince Insufficient Light" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 09,
2003
Tags #revenue estimates, #research, #too late, #higher revenue, #stress, #flashlight, #eyes, #science
Transcript
The Boss pokes his head in to Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Double the revenue estimates and make sure the research supports it." Dilbert responds, "But.. but... it's too late! The research is done, and it won't support higher revenue!" Dilbert is sitting on a doctor's table, shivering. The doctor flashes a light on Dilbert's face and says, "Your stress is from a combination of drive-by- management and a flashlight in your eyes."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday March 23,
2006
Tags #art, #modern art, #nonsense, #taste, #culture
Transcript
Famous artist Dogberto will tell us his plans for our lobby. "I plan to buy a drop cloth at Home Depot and drape it over the security desk." "Won't that be hard on the guard?" "Not until I douse it with gas and light it."
Tuesday July 27,
2010
Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food
Transcript
CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."
Wednesday July 28,
2010
Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #consultant, #cuba, #air force, #sink, #yell, #angry, #private jet, #head, #business
Transcript
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"
Monday August 03,
2009
Tags #therapy, #ignoring, #lying down, #thinking, #complaining, #writing, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I multitask during conference calls." Dilbert says, "Is it wrong to value my own productivity over the inane babbling of others?" Therapist thinks, "Buy bread?Pickles?Light bulbs?" Dilbert says, "Hello?"
Wednesday August 13,
2014
Tags #happiness, #optimism, #rested, #feeling, #never happened, #flow, #dance, #sing, #light, #work, #office, #employee, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: Happy, happy, happy. Dilbert: I'm enjoying a bubble of optimism because I'm feeling rested and no one has been awful to me all day! Wally: How long does it usually last? Dilbert: I don't know. It's never happened before!
Friday February 06,
2015
Emotionally Manipulative Robot Warranty
Tags #manipulation, #manipulative, #manipulative behavior, #robot, #upsell, #warranty
Transcript
The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: It isn't too late to buy an extended warranty for me. I mean, wow! Think about the enormous expense of fixing me if something unexpected happens. If you need me, I'll be on a wobbly ladder, changing light bulbs near the pool
Saturday July 04,
2015
One Missile
Tags #hiding, #off the grid, #surveillance, #spying, #drone, #emergency, #drone strike, #hacker
Transcript
G-Man 1: One of our drones found the fugitive hacker Dilbert in a remote forest. He ate a poisonous berry and will be dead in minutes. Can I light him up for practice? G-Man 2: One missile. They're pricey.
Thursday December 13,
2018
Alice Writes Own Review
Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #performance, #sarcasm, #review
Transcript
Boss: I'm asking everyone to write their own performance reviews. Alice: "She shone like the light of a thousand suns." Boss: Slop some jargon on that and put a bow on it. Alice: Got it.
Sunday March 03,
2019
Tags #computer software, #computers, #intelligence, #technology, #trick, #humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.