Prior Employee Comic Strips - Page 9
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Character
491 Results for Prior Employee
View 81 - 90 results for prior employee comic strips. Discover the best "Prior Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 21,
2004
Tags #hired feral employee, #inexpensive, #untrained, #eat food, #run away
Transcript
I hired a feral employee. "He's inexpensive because he's totally untrained." "Chomp" "Ouch!" "So far he knows how to eat food and run away."
Saturday July 24,
2004
Tags #marketing, #dumpster diving, #feral, #product specs, #feral employee, #business
Transcript
The feral employee Marketing wouldn't give me the product specs. So I made this face and rifled through their dumpster. and you found the product specs? French fry.
Friday August 27,
2004
Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #cheaper, #employee wellness program, #sick days, #incentives, #highly paid workers, #more fun
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."
Tuesday October 05,
2004
Tags #snob, #business snob, #shake hand, #Dilbert, #buck passer, #cheaper, #regular employee
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired a buck-passer." "He's cheaper than a regular employee because he gets other people to do his work." "Could you shake his hand for me, sport? I don't have that kind of time."
Thursday October 14,
2004
Tags #highly prodcutive, #useless guy, #employee abseteeism, #stats, #analysis, #disk storage, #science
Transcript
The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.
Friday May 06,
2005
Tags #evil director, #campiagn, #employee happiness, #forbidden fruit, #no dating emplyees, #date each other
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."
Monday May 09,
2005
Tags #employee orientation, #where to start, #busy, #back, #stress, #website, #technology
Transcript
First Day on the Job "Employee orientation was great! Now where do you want me to start!" "I'm kind of busy. Maybe you could look at our Web site and guess what you should be doing." "Gaaa!!! What happened to my back???" "Stress, you get used to it."
Saturday October 01,
2005
Tags #Catbert, #softening up, #employee satisfaction survey, #fire them, #purring
Transcript
Catbert: The employee satisfaction survey says they don't trust management. "Don't worry. I'll find out who feels that way and fire them during the next retrenchment." "Purr? Who said purr?"
Saturday October 08,
2005
Tags #ex employee, #named ted, #company policy, #weather, #moving lazily
Transcript
"Hi. I'm calling to check the references of your ex-employee named Ted." "We have a company policy against giving references. But I'd be happy to discuss the weather with you." "Okay." "The clouds are moving lazily across the sky, and everyone thinks they're stupid."
Friday November 04,
2005
Tags #pet employee, #all projects, #cutting edge technology, #hawaii
Transcript
"Don't worry that I might give all the good projects to my pet employee." "Petricia, I'd like you to evaluate cutting-edge technologies in Hawaii." "Now, who's left to wax my back?"