Product Ehancement Comic Strips - Page 9
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385 Results for Product Ehancement
View 81 - 90 results for product ehancement comic strips. Discover the best "Product Ehancement" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 30,
2010
Tags benchmark tests, crumple paper, throw, problems, solve, product
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our product placed last in our own benchmark tests." The Boss says, "I wish all of my problems were this easy to solve."
Monday July 26,
2010
Tags new product, military, weapon demo, new york harbor, light show, statue of liberty, stump, newspaper, Entertainment
Transcript
Coworker says, "We're planning to introduce our new military product with a light show in New York harbor." Coworker says, "Wally, can you handle the weapon demo and the light show?" Wally says, "Sure. What could go wrong?" One week later Dilbert says, "They're calling it 'The Stump of Liberty.'" Wally says, "No one is saying it was a boring show."
Wednesday August 11,
2010
Tags test, product, fail, fake, data
Transcript
Dilbert says, "We added a new performance test, but learned that the test itself is flawed." The Boss says, "Now our product fails our own tests and our customers are asking to see the test results." Dilbert says, "Do I have permission to fake the test data?" The Boss says, "I didn't even know data can be real."
Saturday August 21,
2010
Saturday September 04,
2010
Tags new product, defective, kill, recall, fix, overalls, bleach, scrubby brush, shake hands
Transcript
The Boss says, "I have a new job for you. Our product is defective and it's killing customers." Dilbert says, "You want me to organize a recall?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Engineer a fix?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss says, "You'll need overalls, several barrels of bleach and some sort of scrubby brush."
Tuesday September 21,
2010
Tags new product, front, meeting, block of wood, cell phone, network, cool, business, technology
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Our new product is a useless block of wood." Dogbert says, "When customers complain that it won't make phone calls, we'll blame the network." The Boss says, "Who would want? whoa, this is cool." Dogbert says, "You'd be lucky to have one."
Wednesday September 22,
2010
Tags new product, block of wood, ceo, salesman, high forehead, inneundo, leader
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Your product is nothing but a piece of wood. You need a charismatic pitchman to make gullible consumers buy it." Dogbert says, "Normally that would be your job as CEO. Unfortunately, you remind people of a giant?" CEO says, "Leader?" Dogbert says, "Exactly."
Thursday September 23,
2010
Tags pitchman, new product, salesman, block of wood, machine, rays, reality distortion, stand on stool, consumers
Transcript
Dogbert the Pitchman Dogbert says, "Fire up the reality distortion field as soon as I'm introduced." Dogbert says, "Our product is nothing but a block of wood, and yet you need three of them." Man says, "I am a creative individual who does as he is told." Man 2 says, "I can't feel my arm!"
Friday October 01,
2010
Tags marketing, meeting, big mouth, open, stupid, product, guess, business
Transcript
Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."
Tuesday November 30,
2010
Tags meeting, buy, product, quote, angry, die, yell, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Can you give me a quote by next week?" Coworker says, "Your demeanor tells me that you will never guy our product. You only want the quote as a point reference." Dilbert says, "Or maybe I'm giving you false hope because it's less awkward to end the meeting that way." Coworker says, "Die! Die! Die!"