Productivity Today Comic Strips - Page 9

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438 Results for Productivity Today

View 81 - 90 results for productivity today comic strips. Discover the best "Productivity Today" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #language, #Dilbert, #Wally, #zimbu, #zoo, #engineer, #cafeteria, #donuts, #skills, #staff, #meeting, #monkey

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Dilbert stands in front of Zimbu the Monkey's desk and says, "Look, Zimbu, you might have learned language skills at the zoo, but it takes more than that to be an engineer." Wally enters and says, "Dilbert, Zimbu, let's hit the cafeteria for morning donuts." Dilbert, Wally and Zimbu sit at a table eating donuts. Dilbert says, "Okay, after ten a.m. it takes more than language skills to be an engineer." Wally says, "Not today -- we have a staff meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #product, #testing, #doc, #cosmetics, #dangerous, #assignment, #hate

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Ratbert sits on a lab bench and asks a man in a lab coat, "What product are we testing today, Doc?" The doctor replies, "We'll be testing the safety of cosmetics. This will be your most dangerous assignment." Ratbert walks outdoors wearing eye makeup and blush. People yell, "Hey baby!!" and "Whoa!! Whoa!!" Ratbert thinks, "Sometimes I hate this job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #insecure, #insult, #thin, #sexy, #whale, #bad, #hairdo

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Dogbert walks outdoors thinking, "It's easy to make insecure people insult themselves." Dogbert says to a woman, "Good morning, ma'am. You look thin and sexy today!" The woman replies, "Sexy?! Ha! I'm a whale . . . A whale with a bad hairdo!" Dogbert walks away humming and thinking, "Next."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #depressed, #Dogbert, #bigfoot, #shoot, #hair, #growth, #formula

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "I've been so depressed since the fiasco with the hair growth formula." Dilbert continues, "I hope nobody thinks I'm Bigfoot and tries to shoot me." Dilbert continues, "You know, 'hair today, gun tomorrow.' Heh-heh-heh." Dogbert replies, "I'm thinking about shooting you myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #canine, #tax, #rebate, #bill, #passed, #congress, #bills, #author, #Dogbert, #kicking, #liberal, #ethical

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Dilbert sit in his chair watching television. A newscaster says, "The Canine Tax Rebate bill was passed by Congress today." The reporter continues, "The bill's author, Mister Dogbert, successfully pinned the label 'Dog Kicking Liberal on all who opposed him." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Was that ethical?" Dogbert replies as he writes on a pad of paper, "Tha-a-at's it. You're on the list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #carol, #cobra, #Dilbert, #friend, #good, #mood, #struck, #Dogbert

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Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. The woman next to Dilbert says, "Don't mind me today . . . It's almost time for my 'friend' to visit." Dilbert replies, "That's funny . . . I would think you'd be in a good mood if a friend were going to visit." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "She looked puffy, but she struck like a cobra." Dilbert's glasses are bent, his arm is in a sling and his clothes are disheveled.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Men, #hair, #head, #combing, #grow, #ear, #clueless, #people, #employee, #meeting

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A man sits at a conference table with two co-workers. He thinks, "I'm feeling confident today with what appears to be a full head of hair." The man thinks, "Nobody suspects that I'm actually combing the hair that grows in my ears over the top of my otherwise bald head." The man thinks, "It's amazing how clueless these people are."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #healing, #dollars, #psychic, #power, #prevent, #millions, #pimples, #neighbor

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On his television program, Dogbert stands in front of a curtain and holds a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to my show, 'Healing for Dollars.'" Dogbert continues, "Today I will use my psychic healing power to prevent millions of people from getting pimples on their tongues." A man and a woman sit on a couch sticking their tongues out. As they watch their tongues, the woman says, "Ith working! Get the theckbook!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #sarcasm, #Dilbert, #warrior, #battle, #memos, #meetings, #image, #eternity, #life, #pathetic, #help

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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his necktie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dogbert says, "The mighty warrior prepares for battle . . ." Dogbert continues, "Today, bold memos will be written, dangerous meetings will be attended, and many a photocopied image will be captured for eternity." Dilbert says, "If it weren't for sarcasm, my life would sound pathetic." Dogbert replies, "Glad to help."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #good, #articles, #paper, #magnets, #sign, #language, #write, #white, #influence, #project, #working, #minutia

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters holding a newspaper and says, "There are two good articles in the paper today; one about magnets, and one on sign language." The Boss continues, "I'd like you to write a white paper on how these items could influence the project you're working on." Dilbert asks, "Do you even know what project I'm working on?" The Boss replies, "I don't have time to get into minutia."