Racing Toward Oblivion Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

105 Results for Racing Toward Oblivion

View 81 - 90 results for racing toward oblivion comic strips. Discover the best "Racing Toward Oblivion" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2005's comic on:

Tags #resume, #teds, #shard printer, #people pleaser, #disloyal

View Transcript

Transcript

"Is that your resume?" "It's Ted's." "When the pointy-haired boss walks toward the shared printer, I print ten copies." "It turns out that I'm not a people pleaser." "Disloyal #!@*!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2006's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

My space defense shield detects an incoming threat. I am launching intercept rockets. "Apparently the boys at Google used a death ray to blast the international space station out of orbit and toward our house." "Why do you have a space defense shield?" "Doesn't that seem like a stupid question now?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2013's comic on:

Tags #fear, #nasa, #tracking satellite, #asteroid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I found a backdoor into NASA's asteroid tracking satellite. I see that a big one is heading directly toward... Gaaaa!!! Dogbert: What? What? Dilbert: I must fill my final days with love. Dogbert: You ruined my ears, jerk!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2010's comic on:

Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #consultant, #cuba, #air force, #sink, #yell, #angry, #private jet, #head, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2010's comic on:

Tags #book deal, #ghost writer, #dog, #publishing, #first draft, #quotes, #knife, #dying, #dead, #wave hand, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Publishing Dogbert says, "I'm assigning a ghost writer to tighten up your first draft." Dogbert says, "Technically, he's not a ghost yet. He's just a guy who lost a knife fight." Asok says, "How long do I have to wait?" Dogbert says, "If you're in a hurry, steer him toward the window."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2010's comic on:

Tags #plan, #Opinion, #sarcastic, #insult, #left brain, #stagger, #annoyed, #funny face

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "What do you think of my plan, Alice?" Alice says, "I'll bet your left brain is so tiny that you stagger in a clockwise direction." Coworker says, "I'll ask someone else." Alice says, "Walk toward the credenza and you'll have a good chance of hitting the doorway."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2009's comic on:

Tags #drinking, #coffee, #crime, #talking, #shivering, #disturbing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally dabbles in crime Wally says, "A lot of people think crime is a bad thing." Wally says, "But it all depends on how you pick your role models." Wally says, "I lean toward governors, bankers, athletes and sith lords." Dilbert says, "I feel a coldness."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2009's comic on:

Tags #coworker, #thinking, #sitting, #computer, #depressed, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "As usual, my coworkers have filled in every space on my outlook calendar." Dilbert says, "Now I am only a puppet hurdling toward failure." Man says, "Hey there, dailure puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hoped it wasn't so obvious."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2009's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #bleak, #pessimistic, #doom, #beating, #angry, #economy, #violence, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Strategy Meeting Man says, "The weak economy is limiting our strategic options." Man says, "I won't sugarcoat anything." Man says, "Option one is a long slide to oblivion." Oblivion Man says, "Option two is a death spiral." Man says, "Our new company logo is a man getting sucked into a toilet." Man says, "Our revised mission statememnt is 'Forage during daylight. Hide at night.'" Man says, "I'll pass out clubs, and you can decide among yourselves how to downsize by fifty percent." Wally says, "Is it just me or was it better when they sugarcoated?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2009's comic on:

Tags #customer, #hands, #refusal, #ridicule, #criticism, #germs, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet one of our biggest customers. She has some technical questions." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Get that disease-infested paw away from me!" Dilbert says, "Don't you follow the news? Shaking hands is so 2008." Dilbert says, "No offense, but you look more like a virus incubator than a vigorous hand washer." Dilbert says, "So why don't you pull that death stick back up your sleeve and we can pretend this ugly incident never happened." Dilbert says, "And if it's not too much to ask, could you exhale toward things I'm likely not to touch?" Dilbert says, "Okay, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, what can I tell you about our new product line?" Dilbert says, "We lost a customer, but I survived the meeting." The Boss says, "Next time, do it the other way."