Review 80 Million Lines Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

326 Results for Review 80 Million Lines

View 81 - 90 results for review 80 million lines comic strips. Discover the best "Review 80 Million Lines" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #ex emloyee, #died, #funeral, #barely knew, #erfromance review, #communication skills, #attendance

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "Bob was working for you when he died. The family wants you to say something at his funeral." The Boss replies, "I barely knew him. Maybe I can read something from his last performance review." The Boss is standing at a podium at the funeral. He says in his speech, "Bob needs to work on his communication skills.. and attendance."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dunking tank, #united charity day, #bonk, #lines, #wait in lines

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting next to Alice and Dilbert. The Boss announces, "I've agreed to be in the dunking tank for this year's United Charity Day." Carol comes up behind them and throws a ball at The Boss, hitting him on the head. "Bonk!!" Alice and Dilbert look down. The Boss has flipped upside down and fallen under the table. Carol says calmly, "I don't like lines."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #smashed pay, #share the pain, #six million to four, #sandwich bag underwear, #intern is poor

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Asok and Dilbert, "Our CEO has voluntarily slashed his pay from six million per year to four." The Boss continues, "In a written statement he said he wants to 'share the pain.' The Boss asks, "Do you feel better now?" Asok replies, "I make my own underwear from sandwich bags."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disgram, #shares connected, #lines, #impressive words, #synchronized space, #presentation, #experiment, #disturbing, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is carrying-out a presentation. He is standing in front of the attendees, next to a diagram. He says: "I'd like to start with a diagram." He points at the diagram and explains: "It's a bunch of shapes connected by lines." He continues: "Now I will say some impressive words." He says: "Synchronized Incremental Digital Integrated Dynamic E-Commerce Space." He asks: "Any questions?" One of the attendees raises his hand and asks: "May I have a copy of your presentation?" Dilbert stands alone, surrounded by white space and silence. He arrives home and tells Dogbert: "The results of my experiment are disturbing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont email, #cucbilce, #manage and review, #reveiwed, #can't release

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Don't e-mail your answer to my boss until I've reviewed it." Dilbert responds, "Um... Okay." Dilbert asks, "May I walk to my cubicle now or would you like to review the route first?" The Boss replies, "Now that you mentioned it, I can't release."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #too much supervision, #review, #insanity, #time wasting, #lard filled suit, #supervising

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice exclaims at The Boss, "My review says I 'Need too much supervision.' Are you insane?!" Alice continues, "Most days I can't get your time-wasting, lard-filled suit out of my cubicle with a freakin' crane!!" Alice realizes, "GAAA!! It's a trap! You're supervising me too much right now!!" The Boss replies, "I win."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fix interface, #million dollars, #close eyes, #wish hard, #saving

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide and says, "We can fix our incomprehensible user interface for a million dollars." Dilbert continues, "Or we can close our eyes and wish real hard that our users won't care." The Boss closes his eyes and wishes real hard. Wally turns to Alice and says, "He's saving a million dollars. What did you do today?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #30 thousand employees, #emails jokes per week, #file bankruptcy, #lost prodcutivity, #ten million, #holding employee responsible

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Tina, "Tina, our records show that you forward an average of nineteen e-mail jokes per week." Catbert continues, "Each joke goes to 30,000 employees, costing us ten million per year in lost productivity." Catbert concludes, "We plan to blame you when we file for bankruptcy next week." Tina is visibly worried.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #25 million dolalrs, #rat hole, #ride into space, #russian rocket, #poor, #rocket

View Transcript

Transcript

A man carrying a bag of money approaches the "Rat Hole." He says to Dogbert, "I can't decide if I should throw 25 million dollars down a rat hole or..." The man continues, "... Buy a ride into space on a Russian rocket ship." The man is throwing his money into the hole. Dogbert asks, "What about the poor?" The man replies, "Do they have a rocket?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #two jobs, #well, #attaboy, #no budget for raise, #cheapen

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Performance Review. The Boss says to Dilbert, "You did two jobs for a year and you did them well." The Boss continues, "I have no budget for raises, so all I can offer is an attaboy." The Boss continues, "The problem is: I don't want to cheapen the whole attaboy system."