Ridiculous Jargon Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

162 Results for Ridiculous Jargon

View 81 - 90 results for ridiculous jargon comic strips. Discover the best "Ridiculous Jargon" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #response, #customer service, #ridiculous, #ridicule, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "Can you review my letter to this customer who complained?" Dilbert says, "'Tell the spiders living in your skull that we'll look into it.'" Tina says, "Good writing should never be predictable." Dilbert says, "Then it's perfect."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2009's comic on:


Tags #firing, #launching, #spring, #ridiculous, #surprised, #worried, #scared, #evil, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "My old policy was to have security immediately escort out anyone I fired." Sproing! Catbert says, "But that left too much time for weeping."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #yelling, #angry, #annoyed, #ridiculous, #suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Did you tell a customer that you're not allowed to talk to customers?" Dilbert says, "Yes." The boss says, "You fool! That makes us look lame!" Dilbert says, "What was I supposed to do when she asked me a question?" The boss says, "Did you have access to scissors?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #procrastination, #excuses, #asking, #frustrated, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I don't have enough time to do things right, should I just do nothing?" Wally says, "Or do you prefer that I miss deadlines, or do shoddy work, or pray for divine intervention?" The boss says, "I want everything fast and perfect." Wally says, "Can I buy a prayer rug?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ridiculous, #waste, #time, #pointing, #useless, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Someone borrowed the unit you asked to see, so I'll show you pictures of models you aren't interested in." Man says, "There's one you don't want?And you sure don't want that one?" Dilbert says, "And how does this help?" Man says, "Would you like a CD of products we no longer carry?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #boss, #confused, #demanding, #corrupt, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Gas up the company jet, flunky. I'm going skiing in Aspen." Man says, "Using the corporate jet for a vacation sends the wrong message." Man says, "And you can't ski in the summer." Dogbert says, "What message do forty planeloads of snow send?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #remembering, #confused, #asking, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I just forgot what it's like to be one of the little people." The boss says, "It's liberating because I have no empathy for your suffering." Dilbert says, "And how is this different?" The boss says, "Now I have a reason."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #rating, #performance, #reviews, #attributes, #explaining, #ridiculous, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We have new software for performance reviews." The boss says, "It has a category for everything." The boss says. "Fish-faced nincompoop! Bingo!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #finances, #idea, #ridiculous, #asking, #unsure, #corrupt, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're getting into the financial services game." Dogbert says, "That way all of our products can be imaginary." Man says, "Can you give me reliable investment advice?" Man says, "Yes, as far as I know."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #ridiculous, #explaining, #software, #reassurance, #angry, #annoyed, #lazy, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "My productivity software turned on me." Wally says, "It keeps crashing my computer. But that's okay because I don't need a computer to do my job." Wally says, "Do you have any assignments that are sort of pre-industrial?"