Same Job As Enevelope Comic Strips - Page 9
1000 Results for Same Job As Enevelope
View 81 - 90 results for same job as enevelope comic strips. Discover the best "Same Job As Enevelope" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 25, 1995's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We're having an ISO 9000 audit this week." The Boss continues, "Take a look at your documented job descriptions and make sure that it's what you're doing if the auditor asks." Looking at his job description, Dilbert says, "According to this I'm some sort of engineer." Wally, looking at his, says, "As if we'd have time for that . . ."
Share September 26, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert says to Alice, "I've been hired by your company to perform an ISO 9000 audit." Looking at his laptop PC, Dogbert says, "Basically, you give me money and I tell you that you're a bunch of dolts. It's the perfect job for me." Dogbert continues, "Tell me what you do here, Alice, if that's your real name." Alice replies, "I'm an engineer. I make slides that people can't read. Sometimes I eat donuts."
Share October 26, 1995's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I have a bet about why you assigned me to the same task as three other people." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's a clever ploy to create healthy internal competition. Wally thinks you're just dumber than the average cauliflower." The Boss says, "May I point out that cauliflower is the brain of the fruit kingdom." Wally looks at Dilbert and says, "Yes!"
Share December 14, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert stands behind a woman who is sitting at a desk. She says, "Wait-a-minute . . . I'm starting to realize something." The woman continues, "My job title is senior associate, yet I spend my time doing clerical work . . . And unless I'm mistaken, I'm the lowest paid employee." Dilbert asks, "Is this a bad time?" The woman ignores him and screams, "Aaagh!! I'm a secretary!"
Share February 04, 1990's comic on:
A woman at a desk tells Dilbert, "Sorry, I don't date guys from work." Dilbert says, "I'll resign . . ." The woman says, "Sorry, I don't date unemployed guys." Dilbert says, "I . . . I'll get a new job . . . One you approve of." The woman says, "Sorry, I don't date guys with your social security number." Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "So, it turns out her unlucky number has nine digits in it . . ." Dilbert says, "But she knew my social security number, so I think there's some interest there . . ."
Share November 23, 1993's comic on:
Share April 13, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert looks over Alice's shoulder at her monitor. Alice points to the screen and says, "The internal job postings are out. Here's a job I'd love." Alice reads, "Experience required: the candidate must be a guy named Eric, pot-bellied, nearsighted, must drive a red Ford Bronco." Dilbert says, "They might have someone in mind already." Alice says, "If I squint . . . and leave my 'control top' pantyhose at home . . ."
Share April 22, 1996's comic on:
Wally sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "Wally, it might not seem fair that new employees are paid more than you . . ." Catbert continues, "But you could always quit and then reapply for your old job at a higher salary." Wally says angrily, "I just might do that!!" Catbert says, "Would you mind rubbing this catnip all over your body first?"
Share April 23, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally stand in the office kitchen. As he pours himself a cup of coffee, Wally says, "So I'm thinking I'll resign, then I'll reapply for my current job at a higher salary." As they walk back to their cubicles, Dilbert says, "That's a good plan except for the fact that you're thoroughly unqualified for your current job." Wally says, "I need to share my unrealistic plans with a friend who isn't an engineer." Dilbert says, "I'm more of a co-worker than a friend, per se."
Share July 22, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Now that job security is a thing of the past, I've noticed that my company loyalty has vanished, too." Dilbert continues, "And when you made my bonus primarily dependent on the blunders of senior management, my motivation fluttered away like a lonely sparrow." The Boss asks, "So your point is?" Dilbert says, "No point. I just didn't have any reason to be working."