Sarcasm Comic Strips - Page 9

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270 Results for Sarcasm

View 81 - 90 results for sarcasm comic strips. Discover the best "Sarcasm" comics from Dilbert.com.

Very Smart Phd

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Very Smart Phd - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags education, intelligence, office workers, sarcasm

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Man: Hi. I'm very smart, but I don't know how to do anything. Dilbert: Where did you get your PH.D.? Man: I didn't say I have a PH.D. Dilbert: You kinda did.

Self Driving Car Named Carl

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Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags automobile driving, cars, intelligence, sarcasm, technology, threat

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The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

Best Product

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Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, jokes, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm, presentation

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Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Small Managers

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Small Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, computer software, engineering, frustration, office workers, sarcasm, clients

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Boss: I told a customer we would make a small change to the software for them. Dilbert: There are no small software changes, only small managers. Boss: Dang it! Why does that sound so wise!

Old Sayings

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Old Sayings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, email, insult, office, office workers, sarcasm, sayings

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Dilbert: I discovered I can insult our boss if I make it sound like an old saying. He thinks all old sayings are wise. Wally: Here he comes. Boss: Did you read my email? Dilbert: A man who sends email has nothing to say.

Dumb Questions

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Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, insults, meetings, office, office workers, questions, sarcasm

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Dilbert: Let's brainstorm, and remember, there are no dumb questions, only dumb bosses. Boss: Was that necessary? Dilbert: I stand corrected: There is at least one dumb question.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, engineering, government, idea, managers & supervisors, math, ocean, research, sarcasm, science, temperature, tests

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Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.

Mandatory Training

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Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoidance, office, office workers, sarcasm, training

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Boss: You haven't finished the mandatory compliance training modules. Alice: I'm waiting for a strategic time to do them. Boss: Oh, okay. Want to go to lunch? Alice: I would love to, but I have training modules to do.

Dilbert And Brainwashing

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Dilbert And Brainwashing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoidance, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: Why is your employee engagement so low? Dilbert: Because I'm relatively immune to brainwashing. Boss: Okay, I didn't think you knew.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, relationships, sarcasm

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tina: i don't appreciate the sarcastic text message you sent me. dilbert: that wasn't sarcastic. tina: yes, it was. dilbert: wouldn't i be a better authority than you about my own intentions? tina: only if i could trust you. but i can't trust you. dilbert: give me one good reason why you shouldn't trust me. tina: because you send sarcastic text messages. dilbert: um... tina: and here comes the mansplaining.