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158 Results for Send

View 81 - 90 results for send comic strips. Discover the best "Send" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #email, #employees, #leave too early, #menacing pose, #more cars in lot, #own email, #parking lot, #business

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Dorie's Boss says to Dorie, "Dorie, send an e-mail: employees are leaving work too early." Dorie's Boss continues, "I was to see more cars in the parking lot after 6 p.m. otherwise, heads will roll!" Dorie responds, "You type your own e-mail." The Boss replies, "I can't do that AND do this menacing pose at the same time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #copier repair guy, #egg carton, #fierce paper jam, #flirting, #good looking, #joy

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Carol says on the telephone, "Send a copier repair guy. And make sure he's good-looking." Carol continues, "Because I live in a big tin can and I work in an egg carton. Flirting is the only joy I have." Carol continues, "Nothing's wrong with the copier yet, but I feel a fierce paper jam coming on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #non smoker, #oil him up, #ordering repair guy, #shave back, #tall, #repair guy, #copier

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Carol says into the telephone, "And I'd like the copier repair guy to be a tall non- smoker with well-defined abs." Carol continues, "Oh. You're not a dating service, eh? Well if I give you money and you send some guy then it's just semantics." Carol continues, "And could you shave his back and oil him up before you send him?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2002's comic on:


Tags #eat lunch, #few typos, #launch prodcut, #new prodcut, #other thing, #marketing, #business

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Wally is sleeping on his keyboard. His computer makes noises, "Click Click Send." Headline: Marketing. An employee in the marketing department says to his coworker, "Someone named Wally is telling us to launch the new product." The employee continues, "Or it might say to eat lunch with a penguin. It has a few typos." The coworker replies, "I already ate, so let's do the other thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #moneybags magazine, #ask employees, #claims are true, #cover story

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Dogbert is sitting at a desk. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "The reporter from Moneybags Magazine is here." Dogbert responds, "Send him in." The reporter sits across from Dogbert. Dogbert asks, "Are you planning to ask my employees if my claims are true?" The reporter replies, "Nah, too lazy." Dogbert says, "I credit my success to the foot massages I personally give to each employee." The reporter takes notes and thinks to himself, "Cover story!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #loser magazine, #featuring you, #cover photo, #breakroom, #napping, #show offs

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Carol enters Wally's cubicle and says, "A man from 'Loser Magazine' wants to see you." Carol continues, "He said something about featuring you on the cover." Wally replies, "Send him over." Carol looks out and says, "I tried, but he keeps going into the break room and napping." Wally responds, "I hate show-offs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #emailed, #breakdown, #format, #unspoken, #shining prefernces, #mpiness, #abyss

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The Boss: "I e-mailed you the expense breakdown. I need you to fix the format and send it out." Carol: "I will now read your mind to get the unspoken, ever-shifting preferences for the format." "I see nothing emptiness... the abyss..." The boss: "Add a chart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #send threatening emails, #train new guy, #easily downsize later, #boss threatens alice, #job security, #male, #female, #training, #alices bad advice

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The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #sow the seeds, #discontent, #massive disloyalty, #riots, #disloyalty, #business

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The boss: "Send the salary spreadsheet to Human Resources." "Don't let anyone else see it. That sort of information could sow the seeds of discontent." "We'd have massive disloyalty, fights, vandalism, maybe even riots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #hr dept., #views of management, #exceeds expectations, #renamed, #drool, #loser, #die die die, #category changes, #performance review

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CATBERT: EVIl Director of Human Resources Catbert is walking through the office carrying a paper thinking, "I love my job." He walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hello, hapless employee." He continues, "I've renamed the four levels of employee performance..." "...To accurately reflect the views of management." Catbert reading from his paper, "The category of "exceeds expectations" is renamed to..." "..."At least he or she doesn't drool on himself or herself."..." He continues, "..."Meets expectations will be called "loser". "Does not meet expectations" will now be called "Die! Die! Die!"..." Catbert is walking off thinking, "I could send it out by e-mail but I enjoy seeing the looks on their faces."