Sit On Rocks Comic Strips - Page 9
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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor across from Dogbert. Bob says, "We heard you're forming a cult. Can we join?" Dogbert says, "Hmm . . ." Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . . I could use some enforcers to help me conceal the hideous and cynical nature of my organization. You're in . . ." Bob raises his arms over his head and yells, "Yes! We made it!" Dawn asks, "Bob, should we ask about the hideous part?"
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I like a man who makes eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "Uh no . . . Uncontrollable urge to look away . . . I've got to blink about twenty times. Why did she have to bring that up?" Dilbert covers his eyes, screams, knocks his drink over and blinks repeatedly. The woman turns to the reader and says, "I love doing that."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in a restaurant. The waiter hands Dilbert the check and says, "I've taken the liberty of calculating a twenty-percent tip." The server continues, "It's written on the back next to a picture of a smiling diner . . . A fifteen-percent tip is shown by the picture of a guilty-looking diner." The waiter continues, "Below that is a picture of a diner and his dog with salad forks in their backs . . ."
Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor playing cards. Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Let me introduce you to our dinosaurs, Bob and Dawn." Dawn screams, "Eeeek!! A mouse!" and jumps into the air. Ratbert says, "Not a mouse, a rat!!" Dawn says, "Oops. Sorry. You kinda look like a mouse." Ratbert replies, "No offense taken."
Dilbert, who is naked, picks Dogbert up and says, "I'm alive!! I owe my life to you, Dogbert, for cloning me in the nick of time." Dogbert says, "According to ancient dog tradition, you must be my servant for life." Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a counter in a restaurant. Dogbert says, "Don't tell the ancient dogs I settled for a banana split."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a park bench. Dilbert says, "Ugh . . . Look at that young couple kissing in public." Dilbert continues, "They should realize how impolite it is." Dogbert asks, "Is it impolite for us to stare at them?" Dilbert replies, "We're just the victims in all this, Dogbert."
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "It's hard to express how I feel when I'm with you." Dilbert says, "Try." The woman says, "Imagine a field of wheat on a sunny Spring day. Birds are singing." Dilbert says, "There . . . That wasn't too hard." The woman says, "Now imagine a tractor on your chest . . ."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit in the jury box. Dogbert yells, "Stop the trial!! Stop the trial!! The defendant is innocent!!" Dogbert says, "I'M the one who killed those people. I did it for love and for money and revenge!!" Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Well, not really, but I always wanted to say that."
The caption says, "Jury deliberation." Dilbert, Dogbert and the other members of the jury sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I'll be the jury foreman, since the rest of you are losers." Dogbert asks, "Did anybody listen to the boring parts with the evidence?" Dogbert says, "And nobody as a coin?! Geez, what's this system coming to??"
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.