Slow Witted Coworkers Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

128 Results for Slow Witted Coworkers

View 81 - 90 results for slow witted coworkers comic strips. Discover the best "Slow Witted Coworkers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #question, #smartphone, #internet browser, #slow, #old, #wrinkly, #dead, #google, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can research that question with my phone's browser." MUCH TIME PASSES The Boss says, "I found the Google!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #business, #stealing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It's slow at work so I created my own internet business called Dilbertfiles.com woman says, "So you're stealing company resources?" Dilbert says, "I call myself a CEO." woman says, "I think I saw someone who isn't a miscreant."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #downsizing, #layoffs, #firing, #cheering, #celebrating, #happy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I had to lay off many of your coworkers today, but your jobs are safe." Dilbert says, "Yes!" Wally says, "Wahoo!" Alice says, "ha ha ha!" Asok says, "Ha Ha Ha!" The boss says, "Cancel the workshop on survivor guilt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #office, #poster, #cheap, #cruel, #mena, #cannibalism, #reading

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO The boss says, "The new motivational posers are in." the boss says, "As you requested, I bought the least expensive ones." Dogbert says, "Excuse me while I stretch my wagger." If all else fails?your coworkers are edible

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #fired, #surprised, #mean, #cruel, #reading

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "Ted, business is slow, and I have to let you go." The boss says, "But I already did your performance review so I thought you might benefit from constructive feedback." Ted says, "'You're like a blister on a skunk's colon.'" The boss says, "A tiny one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #thinking, #sitting, #computer, #depressed, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "As usual, my coworkers have filled in every space on my outlook calendar." Dilbert says, "Now I am only a puppet hurdling toward failure." Man says, "Hey there, dailure puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hoped it wasn't so obvious."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #introduction, #greeting, #Advice, #scared, #regretting, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #assignment, #partner, #annoyed, #calling, #human resources, #frustrated, #angry, #offended, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with Ted on this project." Alice says, "Ted's a drama queen. Working with him will just slow me down." Ted says, "Hello? Human resources? Alice is being a bully." Alice says, "And so it begins."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #eating & drinking, #lunchtime, #trivial decions, #lose faith, #humanity, #no hope, #vending machine, #fatasize, #competent coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Dilbert, would you like to join us for lunch?" Dilbert says, "Where are you going?" Man says, "We haven't decided." Dilbert says, "In that case, no." Dilbert says, "I can't stand watching a small group of people trying to make a trivial decision." Dilbert says, "It makes me lose all faith in humanity." Dilbert says, "Food doesn't taste as good when you have no hope." Dilbert says, "I'll just get somehting from the vending machine and fantasize that my co-workers are competent." Dilbert says, "Let's see... what goes well with an unrealistic worldview?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #security guard, #shout, #technical advice, #career change, #loud, #yell, #mouth open, #reboot, #Promotion, #hobo, #sponge bath, #lobby fountain, #typo, #nervous

View Transcript

Transcript

Henry says, "Try rebooting." Dilbert says, "Who are you?" Henry says, "I'm Henry the security guard. I'm trying to evolve into a new career." Henry says, "I'm ignoring my real job while loudly giving technical advice to coworkers." Henry says, "Eventually, people will start to see me as a valuable technical resource. Promotions will follow." Dilbert says, "Do you know anything about technology besides 'try rebooting'?" The Boss says, "Henry, who let the hobo take a sponge bath in the lobby fountain?" Henry says, "Try rebooting! Try rebooting!" Dilbert says, "To fix a typo?"