Small Improvements Comic Strips - Page 9

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126 Results for Small Improvements

View 81 - 90 results for small improvements comic strips. Discover the best "Small Improvements" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1993's comic on:


Tags #airplane, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Food, #flight attendant, #passengers, #man, #woman

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in an airplane. Dogbert says, "I'm starving. Is there a meal on this flight?" Dilbert replies, "It's probably just a snack. The airline is cutting back on frills." Dogbert asks, "When you say 'snack,' do you mean a small but well-balanced culinary experience?" Dilbert answers, "It's peanuts. We get nine peanuts apiece." Dilbert adds, "And a soda . . . But not a whole can, just a little cup . . . Unless they cut back on that too." The flight attendant tells Dilbert, "Now we just drink a soda ourselves and burp your seat number." The flight attendant drinks a can of soda. The flight attendant burps, "7B." Dilbert says, "It's actually kind of refreshing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #not policy, #fire morons, #expensive, #make your job unpleasent, #so you quit, #porject, #bitten by coyoytes, #vested

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The Boss has his hand on Donald's shoulder. Donald shirt is untucked and his tie is askew. The boss says, "It's not my policy to fire morons, Donald. Firing is expensive." The boss says, "It's my policy to make your job so unpleasant that you quit." Dilbert says, "So, your project involves being bitten by coyotes?" Donald is covered by small coyotes. Donald says, "Only two more years and I'm vested."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #ear related cuteness, #get away with crimes, #pulled over, #driving, #cop, #verbal warning, #driving violations

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Dogbert walks up to a car. Dogbert has his ears up. Dogbert thinks, "I wonder if my ear-related cuteness will let me get away with crimes." Dogbert gets pulled over by a cop. Dogbert hands over a license. The cop says, "You passed an ambulance... on the right." The cop looks at a small square of cardboard. The cop says, "And your license is a blank piece of cardboard. I have to give you a verbal warning." Dogbert says, "I'll cry if you do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #help desk, #reengineered, #out of existence, #never call again, #pie chart, #crush computer, #ass flour, #bake one hour, #free novel, #manual, #repeat process

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A bald man says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the 'Help Desk'?" Dogbert wears a headset and sits at a computer. He replies, "No, that group got reengineered out of existence." Dogbert continues, "I'm the new 'No Help Whatsoever Desk.' My job is to make sure you never call again." The man asks, "Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?" Dogbert replies, "Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour." Dogbert continues, "While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'" Dogbert continues, "Repeat the process until you get the desired result." The man sits next to an oven reading an instruction manual. He thinks, "This lost a LOT in the translation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #look stressed, #champion, #workplace, #stress no more, #unpaid overtime, #ignite hair, #pissed ouff, #angry, #taken advantage

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert remarks to Alice, "You look stressed out, Alice." Catbert says, "I could fix that by becoming a champion for improvements in the workplace." Catbert says, "Or I could give you a little booklet called 'Stress No More'." Catbert says, "Hmm.. I wonder which way is best." Alice reaches for booklet. Alice reads, "'Stress is your body's way of saying.." Alice continues, "'..You haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.'" Alice starts to get mad. Catbert says, "I've never seen a woman's forehead ignite her hair before."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #no money down, #plan to conquer, #designed, #sitting, #soft fur

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Dogbert sits in front of the television with the remote. The television says, "'In tape one, I'll teach you how to conquer a small island for no money down.'" Dogbert drops the remote in surprise as the television continues, "First, you must travel to the place you plan to conquer." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I'm designed for sitting. That's why my butt is covered with soft fur." Dilbert sits beside him on the couch and says, "I think that's happening to me too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #emplyees, #org limbo, #return calls, #revised org chart, #beautiful

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Dilbert, Dogbert and the boss are sitting at a small round table. Dogbert is wearing a turban with a quarter-moon on it. He says, "I can contact employees who are in org-limbo." Alice appears beside them standing and saying, "Hello-o-o! Why doesn't anyone return my calls?" Dogbert is holding up a chart in front of Alice and shouts, "Come toward the revised chart, Alice!" Alice says, "It's so beautiful!" Dilbert and the boss, run off scared.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #motivation fairy, #magic wand, #enjoy working, #utter futility, #wally myth, #spell, #cast

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Wally is sitting at his computer. A small winged person, hovering in the air behind him, says, "Hello, employee. I'm the Motivation Fairy." Wally sits up and listens as the Fairy says, "My magic wand will make you enjoy working despite the utter futility." Wally turns to the Fairy and says, "Knock yourself out." The Fairy replies, "Wally?! Gaa! I thought you were a myth!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #boss, #sneaking up on, #computer, #walk past, #muscles cramping, #technology

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The Boss peeks in at Dilbert in his cubicle and thinks, "Is that work? I can't see what's on the screen." The Boss raises one leg as if in the middle of walking and thinks, "If he sees me I'll pretend I'm in mid-stride, just passing by." Wally stands behind The Boss and says into his cell phone, "The small font is working." Dilbert says into his telephone, "Good." The Boss grimaces and thinks, "Muscles cramping."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #alice, #small alice, #kill people, #looking at them, #smiling, #man dies, #scary face

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A male co-worker says to Alice, "Smile, Alice. It won't hurt." As Alice glares at the co-worker, he grabs at his throat and cries, "Gaaak!!" At a table, eating lunch with Wally and Dilbert, Alice says, "I found out I can kill people by looking at them." Dilbert says, "I wondered why you were smiling."