Smarter Than Stupid Rattus Comic Strips - Page 9
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323 Results for Smarter Than Stupid Rattus
View 81 - 90 results for smarter than stupid rattus comic strips. Discover the best "Smarter Than Stupid Rattus" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 28,
2012
Tags #meetings, #marketing plan, #consumers, #research is stupid, #opposed to science, #rational thinking, #manifestaions, #pendantic, #semantics, #stopped talking
Transcript
Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.
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Thursday February 21,
2008
Tags #explanation for working, #malicious, #prove stupid, #unemployment benefits, #working
Transcript
Catbert: Wally, I have to fire you for posting a comic comparing managers to drunken lemurs. You won't be eligible for unemployment benefits unless you can prove you were stupid as opposed to malicious. Can you prove you're stupid? Wally: Is thereanother explanation for working here?"
Friday September 12,
2008
Tags #worked around clock, #ten programmers, #establish new baseline, #tragic death march, #stretch golas, #stupid
Transcript
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
Thursday September 25,
2008
Tags #director of green, #turn off computer, #stupid
Transcript
Director of Green Andy says, "Turn off your computer while you're thinking." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." Andy says, "if it weren't stupid, you wouldn't need me to tell you to do it."
Tuesday October 14,
2008
Tags #dogcart the ceo, #420 times, #smarter, #system is flawed, #contradicting your boss
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I earn 420 times what you make. That means I'm 420 times smarter." A man says, "Actually, it means the system is deeply flawed." Dogbert says, "If you were 420 times smarter, you wouldn't be contradicting your boss right now."
Thursday May 20,
2010
Tags #computer problem, #human error, #stupid, #mock, #cabbage
Transcript
The Boss says, "Was it human error?" Dilbert says, "I doubt it" Dilbert says, "No human would be that stupid. My best guess is that a cabbage got access to your computer." The Boss says, "Cabbbages can't use computers." Dilbert says, "Can they tell when they're being mocked?"
Saturday May 29,
2010
Tags #basic research, #donuts, #stupid, #increase profits, #stern, #sit in chair, #first bite
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm doing basic research to test my theory that donuts make other people stupid." The Boss says, "I expect you to do basic research that will increase our profits this quarter." Wally says, "Wow. It works on the first bite."
Tuesday September 14,
2010
Tags #meeting, #facebook, #twitter, #marketing, #social media, #new employee, #coworker, #cats, #drunk, #stupid, #business, #technology
Transcript
Beth says, "As the marketing manager for social media, my job is to use these two words a lot." Beth says, "Marketing through social media is like herding cats. And just to make it interesting, many of the cats are drunk and stupid." Dilbert says, "Burn." Catbert says, "I am totally defriending that witch."
Wednesday December 08,
2010
Tags #stupid things, #breathe fumes, #make people stupid
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I invented a drug that makes people do stupid things. Then I dipped this dart in it." Dilbert says, "I don't know why I did it. There's no legitimate use for this sort of thing." Dilbert says, "Ow." Dogbert says, "I'll need a gallon for the weekend. And remember to breathe the fumes again."
Saturday December 25,
2010
Tags #mental gifting, #sweater, #tool, #stupid sweater
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Are you ready to do mental gifting?" Dogbert says, "You go first." Dilbert says, "I imagine giving you a sweater that doesn't fit." Dogbert says, "I imagine giving you a tool that you already have." Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Stupid sweater."