Software Is Worn Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

301 Results for Software Is Worn

View 81 - 90 results for software is worn comic strips. Discover the best "Software Is Worn" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hating software, integration project, hate it, simply mentioned, pros and cons, balanced anaysis, hatred

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: What's this I hear about you hating the software integration project? Dilbert: "I don't hate it. I simply mentioned both the pros and cons. People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred." The Boss: "How can you hate it so much???!!" Dilbert: "This is one of those days when it's hard to be me."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags total sales, package of software, engaged in piract, tiny frisbee, leap in air, mouth

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our total sales to Elbonia are one package of software." "That can only mean that they're engaged in massive software piracy." "When I toss the tiny Frisbee (TM), you leap in the air and catch it in your mouth." "You first."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags return frisbee, doesn't fly, software cd, total idiot, users manual, poorly written

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd like to return this Frisbee (TM). It doesn't fly right." "This is a software CD. Only a total idiot would think it was a Frisbee (TM)." "In my defense, the user's manual was poorly written." "Plus you're a total idiot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags security software, upgrade it, hackers, steal identity, bank accounts, destroy hard drive, cjoices

View Transcript

Transcript

DilMom "Your security software is out of date..." "Uh-oh." "Would you like to spend the rest of your natural life trying to figure out how to upgrade it?" "Erk!" "Or would you prefer to let hackers steal your identity, drain your bank accounts and destroy your hard drive?" "I need more choices!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags software, budget, computer, tiny mittens, thermometer, hell, your turn, nice guy, intern, abused, mean coworkers, technology, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I need this software to do my job. The Boss: "The software budget is spent. Just share a computer with someone who has this software." Alice: "Why don't you take your tiny mittens and a thermometer to hell and wait for a sign that it's your turn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eliminated budget, automated test software, new code, automated test, end any converstaion, calling person big baby

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "You eliminated the budget for automated test software. How are we going to test our new code?" The Boss: "Go write some automated test software, you big baby. I already pay you, so it's free." Dilbert: "Today I learned I can end any conversation by calling the other person a big baby." Dogbert: "Waa-waa! Do you want your bottle?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management problems, solve by yelling, buying software

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: There are two kinds of management problems. "There's the kind you can solve by yelling and the kind you can solve by buying some sort of software." "That's why I created 'Some sort of software that yells'." The boss: "Ooo!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogcart consults, software has bugs, repackaging, rust inhibitor, error messages, people aren't stupid, they are, spit when type

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert and the Boss, "Your software product is riddled with bugs." Dogbert continues, "I recommend repackaging it as a rust inhibitor for computers." Dogbert says, "The ads will say 'you know it's working because of all the error messages'." Dilbert replies, "People aren't stupid." Dogbert answers, "According to my research they are." Dogbert shows a diagrahm of a human brain with each section labeled. The Boss replies, "I think the rust turned my exclamation upside down." Dilbert says, "That's the letter 'I'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dna, feed her, human genome, human simulations, invented, mapped and decoded, market application, on computer watch, punish her, samples, software, software simulation, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, new software product, google, created product, free, buy in

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And we're going to bet the company on our new software product. Dilbert: While you were talking, Google created that product, gave it away for free, and killed it for lack of interest. Wally: Is it too soon to take back my fake buy-in?