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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "My plan is to give away our product for free." The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We'll only bill customers who ask us to deinstall it." Wally and Dilbert continue looking on impassively as The Boss continues, "For once, those reports of consumer decapitations will work in our favor."
THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: Hovering in the air near Wally, the Fairy says, "If you work hard, you will gain the respect of your peers." Wally says to the hovering Motivation Fairy, "If I avoid the stress of hard work, I will out-live my peers." The Fairy asks, "Hard work can kill me?" Wally answers, "If you're lucky."
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A customer is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. The customer asks, "Can you give me free investment advice?" Dogbert replies, "Sure." Dogbert yells at the customer, "Give me all of your money now now now!!" The customer asks, "What if I paid sor some advice?" Dogbert says, "It's the same except my ears don't flip up in a threatening manner."
Alice sits looking frazzled as the Boss says, "You're understaffed and overworked." Two people appear behind the Boss as he continues, "So I hired a stress counselor and another manager to glare at you." The stress counselor massages the Boss' back and says, "Relax...Deep breaths...There..." The manager stands over Alice glaring at her.
The Boss hands Wally an award and says, "The Clean Desk award goes to Wally." As Wally looks at his award, The Boss continues, "Maybe Wally can share some tips on keeping our desks clutter-free." Wally looks up and responds, "I usually throw away this sort of thing in the men's room on the way back to my cubicle."
Asok, The Boss, and Wally are eating donuts and drinking coffee. Asok says, "The great thing about free speech is that I can criticize the government." The Boss replies, "I'd fire you." Asok says, "I mean outside of work." The Boss responds, "I'd fire you for that too." Asok asks, "May I express enjoyment of my pastry?" The Boss replies, "Sure. It's a free country."
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Please, I beg you. Transfer me back to engineering." Dilbert continues, "I'll take a pay cut. No, I'll work for free. No, I'll pay YOU." Dilbert is shining The Boss' shoes. The Boss says, "I should make all of my engineers work in sales for a while. You come back more appreciative."
Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "None of us has designed a nuclear power plant before but we can figure it out by using our process." Dilbert continues, "In phase one we will gather customer requirements." Asok is meeting with a customer. Asok says, "So.. you want free electricity without mutating, unless the mutation gives you X-Ray vision." The customer responds, "Yep."
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You're the first employee for my 'Coffee with the Boss' program." The Boss continues, "Feel free to say whatever is on your mind. Don't hold back. Give it to me straight." Dilbert says, "My chair has a squeak." The Boss yells, "You ungrateful whiny wretch!!!"