Stretch First Comic Strips - Page 9
520 Results for Stretch First
View 81 - 90 results for stretch first comic strips. Discover the best "Stretch First" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 17, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert Publishing Dogbert says, "I'm assigning a ghost writer to tighten up your first draft." Dogbert says, "Technically, he's not a ghost yet. He's just a guy who lost a knife fight." Asok says, "How long do I have to wait?" Dogbert says, "If you're in a hurry, steer him toward the window."
Share January 02, 2009's comic on:
Asok says, "This is my first recession. How worried should I be?" Wally says, "You'll be fine as long as you don't have any hopes and dreams." Asok says, "But I still have them." Wally says, "It's time to yank off that band-aid."
Share August 10, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert: I'm wearing my tall pants and my old-fashioned hairpiece because I'm running for president. "I put a glove on my tail so I can shake 50% more hands." "My policy is to give all the money in the treasury to Iowans. But I might flip-flop after the first primary."
Share August 13, 2007's comic on:
"If you are elected president, what will you do in the first hundred days?" "I figure it will take me at least that long to carve my name in all the furniture." "Then it would be time to wipe that smug smile off of Switzerland's face."
Share December 05, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "Asok, I need an intern to test-pilot our new moon shuttle prototype." Asok: "Wouldn't it be wiser to send a monkey on the first flight?" The Boss: "You're thinking of the second flight."
Share April 10, 2005's comic on:
"Here are your regular goals and here are your stretch goals." "What's the difference?" "The regular goals can be achieved by sacrificing health and your personal life." "The stretch goals require all of that plus some sort of criminal conduct." "I'm guessing that your boss gave uou the regular goals and you came up with the stretch goals on your own." "That way, When I achieve the regular goals you'll get a raise because I missed the stretch goals." "Then you'll get a bouns for salaries below budget." "Maybe we should talk about the ultra-stretch goals later."
Share October 03, 2004's comic on:
Dilbert: do you want to watch when the new employee looks at her first paycheck? Wally: ooh-ya! Wally: what do we know about her? Dilbert: She's target out of college, all of her prior jobs paid her in cash. wally: perfect. dilbertL ear guards on. My first paycheck deductions???? Hmmm. how bad could it be? WAHT THE.... Next time no coffee. eh?
Share June 04, 2013's comic on:
Share July 25, 2013's comic on:
Catbert: You're the first employee in company history to fail the online ethics course. Wally: I protest the grading system! Ethics are subjective. There are no right answers! Catbert: You said you would kill a coworker if you knew you wouldn't get caught. Wally: It was hard to know what answer they were looking for.
Share August 26, 2013's comic on:
Carol: It's the new guys first day and he's calling in sick. His message says he was putting on his shirt and got his head caught in an arm hole. Good hire. Boss: I had that same problem with my pants.