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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #marketing dept, #engineering dept, #other engineers, #careless mistake, #need nets, #rope, #tranquilizer darts, #askengineering

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Marketing Department: A guy walks by a table and says, "Hey! It's a magazine!" He reaches for it. Engineering Department: A loud speaker says, "Danger! A magazine has been discovered in marketing!" Alice looks scared. Alice pokes her head into Dilbert cubicle and says, "Marketing has a magazine!" Dilbert gasps and his hair stands on end. Dilbert heads for the War Room. He says, "Gather the other engineers. We must get that magazine." Alice says, "Check." Dilbert says to Alice, Asok and Wally, "We think is was a careless mistake by someone in the mail department." Dilbert says, "As you know, there is nothing more dangerous than a marketing person with a little bit of knowledge." Dilbert points to a diagram on the dry-erase board. He says, "We know where the magazine will be read. We need nets, rope and traquilizer darts." The marketing guy starts to enter the men's restroom as a darts flies towards his neck. He thinks, "I'll have to ask engineering to build one of these space staions..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #body language, #earplugs!, #hammer head bob, #personal spece, #relentless conversation

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Hammerhead Bob: You can't escape the relentless conversation of hammerhead bob. Buwhahah! Your body language can't stop me! Where you personal space now?! Alice: earplugs, Asok! Ear plugs!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #boss office, #coup, #parked, #reserved spot, #scheduled meetings

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The boss is holding a briefcase and he says to Carol, who is at her computer: "Carol, you parked in my reserved space." Carol hands a sheet of paper to the boss ans says: "I scheduled you to drive to meetings all day." The boss answers: "Oh." Carol is at her cubicle and thinks: "Tomorrow I move my stuff into his office and the coup is complete."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #architectural materpiece, #experience, #no storage espace, #new office building, #architectectural masterpiece

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The boss is standing beside an easel that has a picture of a building on it. The boss, pointing to the picture says, "Our new office building will be an architectural masterpiece!" Asok the Intern, Dilbert, and Wally are sitting at a table. Asok holds his head and says, "The voices in my head are shouting 'No storage space! No storage space!'" Asok shouts, "What is happening to me?" Dilbert says, "It's called experience."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #earned, #enginner, #life isn't fair, #moving up, #office space, #private offcie, #Promotion, #complaints

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Catbert says to Dilbert, "The other engineers are complaining because you have a private office." Dilbert responds, "Maybe you should explain to each of them that life isn't fair." Dilbert is back in his old cubicle. He thinks, "Yeah, I guess it IS easier to explain it to one person."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #middles part, #forbid, #near work space, #not good people, #1970's called

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Dilbert introduces the new coworker to Carol, "Carol, this is our new guy, Harry Middlepart." Harry extends his hand. Carol responds, "I don't approve of your hairstyle. I forbid you to be near my workspace." Carol holds out the phone and yells, "The seventies called. They want their hair back!!" Harry says to Dilbert as they walk away, "She's not good people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #are years ago, #this year, #futire, #free soft drinks, #free coffee, #bottled water

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Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #pursue disruptive innovations.glorious, #fully funded, #amzing, #free from bureaucracy, #bean bag charis

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DOGBURT CONSULTS dogcart: "I recommend forming a separate group to pursue disruptive innovations." "It will be a glorious place: fully funded, amazing ambiance, brilliant people, free from bureaucracy." "Best of all, once a year they'll let you losers tour their work space and sit in their bean bag chairs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #project stauts, #emails, #voicemails, #corner in hallway, #scampered away, #sinus stories

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dilbert: "The status of my project is that you ignored five of my e-mails and seven of my voice mails." "I tried to corner you in the hallway, but you filled all the air space with stories about your sinuses and scampered away." The boss: "Speaking of which, hoo boy." Wally: "I'd like to hear those stories."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #budget estimate, #useful numbers, #boss hibernation, #say number, #budget

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Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss comes in and says, "I need your budget estimate today." Asok replies, "We won't have useful numbers until next week." Dilbert turns and says, "It doesn't work that way, Asok." Asok says, "No?" Asok and Dilbert approach the Boss who stares blankly into space. Dilbert explains, "As soon as he asked the question, he went into 'boss hibernation.'" Dilbert waves his hand in front of his face and says, "He can't see or hear anything until we say a number. Watch." Dilbert says, "Three million dollars." The Boss comes to and says, "Uhn!" The Boss walks away and says, "Three million. Good work." Dilbert says, "The first time I saw it, I panicked and ended up with a budget of $911."