Take Hint Comic Strips - Page 9

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715 Results for Take Hint

View 81 - 90 results for take hint comic strips. Discover the best "Take Hint" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #charity, #bottle caps, #fund, #chemo, #pro children, #snopes.com, #internet hoax, #award mug

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CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #research, #believe internet, #roll eyes, #ignorance, #science

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Dilbert: According to my research on the internet, Plan B will work best. Boss: I'm rolling my eyes because you believe everything you read on the internet. Dilbert: I should take a picture in case someone ever asks me if ignorance has a tell.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ineffective, #nemesis, #physics of work, #quarreling

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Dilbert: My old nemesis retired, so I asked Randy to take over that function because he's ineffective at everything he does. Coworker: Huh? Dilbert: The physics of work required that each employee be matched with an anti-employee called a nemesis. Coworker: I don't know who my nemesis is. Wally: Uh-oh. You got a hider. They're the worst.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apps, #fantasy, #mental prison, #escaping, #running a start up

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Wally: I'm escaping the mental prison of this job by creating apps in my mind and fantasizing about running a start-up. Gaaa!!! The start-up is too much work! The stress is killing me! Take me back to my prison! I'm back. Did I say anything embarrassing? Dilbert: It's all relative.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch date, #not attracted, #technoloigy, #only like tech, #people are creepy, #delivery system, #viruses, #germs, #picture, #photoshop, #people hater

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Tina: Wally, do you want to go to lunch? Wally: No, thanks. I"m a digisexual now. Tina: What: Wally: I'm no longer attracted to people. I only like technology. People creep me out. You're basically a delivery system for viruses, germs, and unreasonable favor requests. I'm willing to take a picture of you, but that's as far as I'll go. Tina: This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had. Wally: Thank goodness for Photoshop.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #therapist, #therapy, #couch, #complaining, #turn tables, #shrink, #session, #husband, #pad.pen, #fishing for compliments, #relationships, #psychology

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Dilbert: People always try to take advantage of me. Therapist: I know what you mean. I lost five pounds and my husband didn't notice! I came home last night and he hadn't even cleaned the garage like he promised. I had to park on the street! Dilbert: Is it my imagination, or have you found a clever way to make people pay to listen to you complain? Therapist: Tell me more about how you think Im clever.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #space elevator, #prototype, #roof, #pipe, #close call, #edge of building

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Wally: I finished the space elevator prototype. Boss: So soon? I thought it would take years? Wally: It's just a prototype. Do you want to try it. Boss: Sure.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #attend presentation, #authorized, #poor notes, #wasting time, #right meeting

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Coworker: My boss asked me to attend your presentation on his behalf. I should warn you that I'm not authorized to make decisions, and I take poor notes. Dilbert: Okay. Let's begin wasting our time! Coworker: I"m not even sure I'm in the right meeting.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job description, #mindless zombie, #team work, #wate time, #tasks, #waste time, #never shows intitaive

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Wally: Should I waste my time doing tasks that are not in my job description? Or should I be a mindless zombie that shuns teamwork and never shows initiative? Take your time. I'm good either way.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shared leadership, #model, #piece of role, #blame

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Boss: I'm moving to a shared leadership model. Each of you will take on one piece of the leadership role. Dilbert: What's my piece? Boss: Let's see. I have you down for something called... blame.