Talk To Furniture Comic Strips - Page 9

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383 Results for Talk To Furniture

View 81 - 90 results for talk to furniture comic strips. Discover the best "Talk To Furniture" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing

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Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2015's comic on:

Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money

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Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.

Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School

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Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2015's comic on:

Tags #gender, #feminism, #technology, #Women, #obliviousness, #bad idea

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Boss: Wally, I need you to talk to my daughter's school about careers in stem fields. Wally: Why me? Boss: All the good people are busy. Wally: Fair enough. Boss: We want to fix the gender imbalance. Wally: I'll wear my good shirt.

Do Not Talk To Ted

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Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2016's comic on:

Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception

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Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

Nothing Else To Talk About

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Nothing Else To Talk About - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2016's comic on:

Tags #personality, #boring, #bored, #conversation, #small talk, #psychology

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Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.

Boss Tweets Fake News

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Boss Tweets Fake News - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2017's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #mobile (cell) phones, #talk, #window

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The department of education asked us to talk to you about all of your tweeting. You tweeted so much fake news that the average I.Q. in the country plunged seven points. That doesn't hurt anyone. You tweeted "seat belts are designed to strangle survivors so they won't sue."

Dilbert Characters

Taking Pride In Work

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Taking Pride In Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2017's comic on:

Tags #motivation, #pep talk, #logic, #pride, #suffering, #work ethic

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Boss: Wally, I"m starting to think you don't take pride in your work. Wally: That would be like taking pride in being the victim of a crime. Catbert: How'd the pep talk go? Boss: He made some good points.

We Need To Talk

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We Need To Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2018's comic on:

Tags #contradiction, #argument, #disagreement

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Boss: The software upgrade will be ready by Friday. Dilbert: Actually, that's when we will start writing it. Boss: And it will save us twenty million dollars. Dilbert: Actually, it will cost a million dollars and save nothing. Boss: We need to talk. Dilbert: We do? I'm not feeling that.

Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots

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Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2018's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #alice, #ted talk, #idiots, #dumb, #career, #change, #smart, #possible, #speak

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The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...

Self Actualization

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Self Actualization - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2020's comic on:

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #business, #work, #talk, #listen, #self-actualized

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dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.

Hiring Morons And Ted

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Hiring Morons And Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2020's comic on:

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #labor, #market, #hire, #moron, #position, #ted talk, #video, #smart

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boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.