Teaching Drink Coffee Comic Strips - Page 9

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385 Results for Teaching Drink Coffee

View 81 - 90 results for teaching drink coffee comic strips. Discover the best "Teaching Drink Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #evaluates prey, #badge, #important decision maker, #low ranking employee, #coffee stain, #below stain, #rank, #make decsiosn, #Wally

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Dilbert stands at the security desk. The guard hands a vendor a visitor's badge and says, "Badge." The man thinks, "The clever salesman evaluates his prey." Dilbert pushes the elevator button. The man thinks, "I hope he's an important decision-maker." Dilbert tells the salesperson, "Take any seat. I call the good chair." The man thinks, "Warning! Cubicle! Low-ranking employee!" Dilbert draws a diagram and says, "Here's our organization chart: president . . . senior vice president . . . vice president . . ." Dilbert continues, "Okay, lift your foot. Do you see that coffee stain on the carpet?" The vendor asks, "That's you?" Dilbert replies, "No, that's my boss. I would be under the carpet." The salesman asks, "Do I have any hope of talking to somebody who can make a decision?" Dilbert replies, "Let me check." Dilbert peers over the wall into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hey, Wally, what's a 'decision'?" Wally replies, "It sounds like something our competitors do." The salesman covers his eyes and sobs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1997's comic on:


Tags #carl, #cubicle dwellers, #hard worker, #coffee cup, #walk around, #downsized, #co workers resntment, #snarky

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A man walks down the hall thinking, "I am Carl, the cubicle dwellers' friend." Carl thinks, "I travel from cubicle to cubicle to tell people how hard I'm working." Carl stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I am working so-o-o-o hard. Work, work, work. It's all I do." Dilbert asks, "How is that possible?" Dilbert continues, "You walk around all day with that coffee cup resting on your belly." Dilbert asks, "Does your job description say 'transport coffee cup on belly'?" Carl walks away thinking, "He's a terrible conversationalist." Dilbert asks, "How many miles per gallon do you get?" Alice asks Carl, "Hypothetically, if you were downsized, how would the cup get around?" Carl thinks, "What's wrong with these people?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1998's comic on:


Tags #cofffee, #tired, #downward spiral, #immobile, #bring coffee

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Dilbert stares at his computer screen and thinks, "I need coffee." He continues, "But I'm too tired to go get it." Dilbert leans back and thinks frantically, "I'm in a downward spiral!" Dilbert hangs limply in his chair as he thinks, "My arms go limp. The antidote is only yards away but I am immobile." Ted walks by Dilbert's cubicle as Dibert thinks, "Maybe someone will notice and bring coffee." Alice and Wally lean into Dilbert's cubicle and Dilbert thinks, "My co-workers found me. I'm saved!" Wally and Alice walk out of Dilbert's cubicle carrying his monitor and computer. Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert naked with something on his face. Dilbert explains, "As the frenzied mob ripped off my trousers, someone spilled coffee on me." Dogbert replies, "Wow, lucky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #wally report, #hair grow long, #ponytail, #artistic side, #collect coffee mugs, #meeting, #business

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Wally, Dilbert and the boss sit in a meeting. Wally's hair shoots up on either side of his bald spot. Wally says, "In this week's "Wally Report, " I've decided to let my hair grow long in the back." Wally says, "Eventually, I'll put it in a ponytail to show I have an artistic side." The boss says, "What's your artitstic side?" Wally says, "I collect coffee mugs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #most experiences, #die, #do nothing, #experience nothing, #immortality, #over rated, #rat, #coffee can

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Ratbert says, to Bob the dinosaur, "Bob, have you ever noticed that the people with the most experience are the ones who die?" Bob says, "No." Ratbert says, "My plan is to spend the rest of my life in an old coffee can, experiencing nothing. Hence, immortality." Dilber says, to Ratber who sits in a coffee can, "How was your first week of immortality?" Ratbert says, "So far, it's overrated."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1999's comic on:


Tags #urgent document, #overnight drop, #nine minutes, #spare, #eight minutes, #coffee fisrt, #truck pulling away, #box, #wedge, #back bumper

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Carol stands behind Alice who is at her computer. Carol says, "I'm taking your urgent document to the overnight drop box, with nine minutes to spare." Carol says, "The box is only eight minutes away. I'll stop for coffee first." Alice grimaces. Carol says, "Don't worry. If the truck is pulling away from the box, I'll wedge this in the back bumper." Carol holds out Alice's report. Alice makes the fists of death.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #god hates pople, #coffee tastes better, #stir with finger, #lonely religion

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Wally and Dilbert are in the office kitchen getting coffee. Wally says, "I believe God created the earth because he hates people." Wally says, "And I believe coffee tastes better if you stir it with your finger." Dilbert says, "It sound like a lonely religion." Wally says, "They all start that way."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #multi vendor processes, #oversized coffee mug, #perform exorcism, #posessed, #synergy, #reorg!

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Dogbert wears a crown and wand and stands in the doorway of the boss' office. Dilbert, Wally and Alice look through the window. Dogbert says, "I'm here to perform an exorcism." The boss opens his mouth wide and says, "Your mother implements multi-vendor processes without synergy!!" Dogbert points his wand to the boss' coffee cup and says, "Here's the problem someone gave you this oversized coffee mug." The boss says, "Reorg!!!" and his head starts to spin.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #found no problem, #our drinking water, #drink bottled water

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert are at a meeting. The Boss is holding a bottle of water. The Boss says, "Our safety department has tested our drinking water and found no problem." The Boss drinks the water. Wally says, "Then why do you drink only bottled water?" The Boss says, "Because that's what the safety department drinks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #no class, #need in offcie, #someplace else, #use you, #coffee cup, #walk around

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Alice stands in front of the boss's desk. The boss says to Alice while looking at a sheet of paper: "I can't send you to this class, Alice. We need you here." The boss says to Alice: "And after we use you up, we'll need you to be somewhere else." Alice says to Wally, who is standing in front of his cubicle: "What will I do when my skills are obsolete?" Wally answers while holding a cup of coffee: "Try walking around with a coffee cup"