Technical Problem Comic Strips - Page 9

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490 Results for Technical Problem

View 81 - 90 results for technical problem comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #measurable objective, #technical writer, #measure good writing, #number of words, #compare projects to wood, #dogmatic babbling manager, #cognitive surrender

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The Boss sits at his desk. He says, "Tina, we need to set measurable objectives for you." Tina responds, "I'm a technical writer. How can you measure good writing?" The Boss says, "Everything is measurable is you try hard enough." Tina asks, "Is that your well-measured opinion?" She continues, "Or is it the dogmatic babbling of a manager in total cognitive surrender?" The Boss comes back with, "For example, we could measure the number of words you type." He adds, "We'll have to subtract words you delete. That way we won't motivate the wrong behavior." Tina is now at her desk, typing. She has written, "In this edition of Tina's hourly newsletter, I compare our projects to various types of wood."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #technical questions, #ventriloquism, #ip router, #suppository configuration, #boss move lips, #business

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The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, I need you to attend a metting with me to handle the technical questions." The boss says, "If the ask me a question, I'll move my lips while you do ventriloquism." The boss is in a meeting. He pretends to speak. Alice says, from behinds a book, "....and that's why your I.P. router in a suppository configuration."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #blame others, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #oversized head, #problem, #tight pantyhose, #low morale

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Alice, "Alice, you blame others for your low morale." Catbert points at Alice and says, "BUT THE REAL PROBLEM IS YOUR TIGHT PANTYHOSE!!" Alice says, "I don't think so." CAtbert says, "Then how do you explain your oversized head?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #quality assurance group, #bad for company, #head count problem

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The boss says to Asok, "Asok, I'm moving you to my "quality assurance" group." Asok gasps. The boss says, "I realize this is bad for you... and bad for the company... but it solves my headcount problem." Asok eats lunch with Dilbert and Wally. Asok says, "Will that be my conreibution to the world: "He solved a headcount problem'?" Wally says, "That tops me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #found no problem, #our drinking water, #drink bottled water

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert are at a meeting. The Boss is holding a bottle of water. The Boss says, "Our safety department has tested our drinking water and found no problem." The Boss drinks the water. Wally says, "Then why do you drink only bottled water?" The Boss says, "Because that's what the safety department drinks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #technical certificate, #new power, #better job, #different comaony, #hired you

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An employee says to the Boss, "Ha Ha! You never should have let me get a technical certification." The employee continues to explain, "I used my new power to get a better job at a different company." The Boss replies, "Tell me again why I hired you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #misaligned, #position code, #module, #problem, #anonymous note, #disappearing link

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Catbert is standing on a desk and talking to Dilbert. Catbert says, "We can't pay this week because your position code is misaligned with your module." Catbert continues, "Worse yet, no one knows what that means or whose responsibility it is to fix it." Dilbert says, "Who told you about the problem?" Catbert says, "It was an anonymous note with disappearing ink."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #payroll problem, #wrong person, #speak with supervisor, #forward call

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Dilbert, on the phone, says, "I'm trying to find someone who can help me with a payroll problem." A worker on the phone says, "You're close. I'm the guy who forwards your call to the wrong person." Dilbert says, "I'd like to speak with your supervisor." The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'll forward your call."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #engineer, #snide of attitude, #incomprehensible, #technical review, #sarcasm, #engineering

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Wally says to an employee sitting at a computer, "My name is Wally and I'll be your engineer." Wally says to the employee, "Our special today is incomprehensible mumbling in an acronym sauce with a snide of attitude." The employee says, "I'll just have a technical review." Wally asks, "Do you want sarcasm with that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #morale problem, #boss solutions, #knickname for group, #scatalogical, #involves monkeys, #meeting, #decide nickname, #suggestions, #business

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The Boss stands at the front of the room in front of an easel that says "Morale Problem." The Boss says, "I have a solution to our morale problem." The Boss continues, "We need a nickname for our group." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Can it be something scatological?" The Boss replies, "Ummm...no." Wally asks, "How about something that involves monkeys?" The Boss says, "I don't think so." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Oooh...but can it be something that's both scatological AND involves monkeys?" Wally walks out of the meeting and says, "It's hard to be optimistic when he's so grumpy."