Tell Him Comic Strips - Page 9
673 Results for Tell Him
View 81 - 90 results for tell him comic strips. Discover the best "Tell Him" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 21, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert floats in mid-air with a propeller attached to his back. He says into the phone, "Hello, ABC News? I've discovered an anti-gravity formula." Dilbert continues, "What?! It's not newsworthy?!" Dogbert says, "Tell him it lets you lose weight without exercising." Dilbert covers the telephone receiver and asks, "Isn't that misleading and unethical?" Dogbert replies, "There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft."
Share April 04, 1991's comic on:
Andy: Androids want to be like humans. Tell me what humans do. Dilbert: Mostly, they eat, sleep, and hope they don't die. Andy: That's it? Dilbert: Unless they find religion... Then they eat, sleep, and look forward to dying.
Share August 09, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert and three men sit at a table eating lunch. A man says, "Yeah . . . I had a temperature of 147 degrees and they had to remove my internal organs." Another man says, "Well, that's nothing compared to my bout with bubonic plague last week." A man with no head asks, "Did I ever tell you about the time I repaired my own lawn mower?" Another man thinks, "Not again."
Share July 05, 2012's comic on:
Share July 11, 2012's comic on:
Alice: I wrote a social media app that can tell me how many friends other people have. App: Zero friends... 75 acquaintances... one nemesis... nine online stalking victims... Wally: Are you double-counting my stalking victims? Some of them are also acquaintances.
Share July 12, 2012's comic on:
Venture Capital Dogbert: I need $100,000 for my location-based, social media, could start-up. Coworker: I'm not giving you $100,000 just because you spewed some buzz-words. Dogbert: The how about $10 million? Coworker: Wait... now it sounds like a good investment. How did you do that? Dogbert: I can tell you, but it won't be flattering.
Share December 11, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert, who is wearing a turban, says to Ratbert, "Nostradogbert predicts there will be turmoil in the Middle East." Ratbert replies, "Wow! That's quite a prediction! You're really going out on a limb!" Dogbert asks, "Is that sarcasm? I can't tell with you." Ratbert asks, "Will there be any sand involved?"
Share December 26, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and asks, "What did you mean when you said all employees are empowered?" Dilbert continues, "Does that mean I can control my own budget, make decisions without twelve levels of approval, and take calculated risks on my own?" The Boss replies, "No, it's just a way to blame employees for not doing the things we tell them not to do." Dilbert hangs his head and says, "No wonder you needed a new word."
Share February 12, 1992's comic on:
A robot enters wearing overalls and says to Dilbert, "I made some pants out of the clothes in your dresser." Dilbert shakes his finger and says, "Bad robot!! I want you to tell me why what you did was wrong." The robot pulls his underwear out of his pants and says, "It's not wrong. I remembered to make underpants out of the drapes."
Share February 13, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert says to the garbage man, "Our robot is taunting Dilbert mercilessly. Is there any way to stop him?" The garbage man says, "I meant to tell you; I calibrated his neuro-actuator so he would obey only YOUR commands, Dogbert." The robot dangles Dilbert out of the window by his legs. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What did he say?" Dogbert replies, "He says there's nothing you can do."