Three Pounds Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

361 Results for Three Pounds

View 81 - 90 results for three pounds comic strips. Discover the best "Three Pounds" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dieting & weight control, #Dilbert, #grocery store, #grape, #weight, #happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert pushes a shopping cart through a grocery store. A clerk says, "Hold it right there, fella!" Dilbert turns around and says, "Uh-oh . . . You must have seen me eat that grape in aisle 'B.'" The clerk responds, "I just want to make sure you pay for it." Dilbert lies on the scale at the cash register. The clerk says, "Looks like 192 pounds. What were you before you came in?" Dilbert replies, "Happy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #technical, #listening, #conclusion, #consciousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #scientific, #test, #women's institution, #Number, #5.`362894, #love, #numbers

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert performs a scientific test of so-called 'women's intuition.'" Dogbert and a woman sit at a table. Dogbert says, "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten." The woman says, "5.1362894 . . . No, I'll say three." Dogbert says, "Wrong! The answer is 5.1362894 . . . I'm beginning to wonder if you're really a woman."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #uncle, #picture, #eleven, #purple, #hearts, #william, #wounded, #times, #war, #warfare

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch looking through a photo album. Dilbert says, "Here's a picture of my uncle just before he was drafted. He was awarded eleven purple hearts." Dogbert asks, "He was wounded eleven times?!" Dilbert replies, "Uncle William insisted that his friends call him 'Will' . . ." Three soldiers kneel in a trench. A commanding officer yells, "Okay, men, fire at will!!" and the other soldiers look at Will.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #good, #host, #sinister, #paranoia

View Transcript

Transcript

A lab rat says to a scientist, "Doc, we have to talk." The rat continues, "Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese . . . At first I thought you were just being a good host." The rat continues, "But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister." The professor writes in his notebook, "Macaroni and cheese causes paranoia."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #grief, #scum, #caskets, #newspapers, #denial, #anger, #economics

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "The three stages of grief; denial." Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "No . . . Dilbert can't be dead." The caption says, "Anger." Dogbert stands on his pillow and thinks, "I'll kill the scum who did it!" The caption says, "Economics." Dogbert says into the phone, "No expensive caskets. Just wrap him in newspapers; he would have wanted it that way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #system, #data, #bits, #virtual, #array, #conflugalize, #words, #woman, #female, #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people from marketing. A woman says, "Maybe Dilbert can explain to the marketing people how the system works." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . So the electrons alter the data bits . . . And then they go to the virtual array where they conflugalize. Got it?" The woman asks, "How many of those words did you just make up?" Dilbert thinks, "They're on to me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #transmitter, #television, #parts, #broadband, #multiplexer, #tuna, #cans, #space, #sock, #vaseline

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and three men sit at a table eating lunch. A man says, "Yeah, I once built an FM transmitter from old television parts . . ." Another man says, "That's nothing . . . I built a broadband multiplexer from tuna cans and a lamp." Dilbert says, ". . . My first orbiting space station was made entirely from old socks and Vaseline." Dilbert thinks, "I hate going last."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chool, #self-service, #gas, #station, #attendants, #thoughts, #minds, #easy

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Second day: Dogbert's School for Self-Service Gas Station Attendants." Dogbert says, "You must learn to relax . . ." Dogbert continues, "I want you to clear your minds of all thoughts." The three students sit limply in their chairs with blank looks on their faces. Dogbert thinks, "That was too easy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #sneeze, #happen, #name, #leave, #town

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . sneeze coming." Dilbert sneezes violently. Dilbert's sneeze blew the toupee off the man next to him and knocked a woman out of her seat. Dilbert thinks, "I can pretend that didn't happen, or change my name and leave town."