Time Travel Comic Strips - Page 9
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1000 Results for Time Travel
View 81 - 90 results for time travel comic strips. Discover the best "Time Travel" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 13,
1996
Tags #evil director, #mandatory blood test, #take drugs, #stealing time, #test, #general health
Transcript
Catbert peers over the wall and says, "Wally, it's time for your mandatory blood test." Wally says, "I don't take drugs." Catbert, who is holding a syringe, replies, "I'm testing to see if you're stealing time from the company." Wally asks, "Time? How can you test for that?" Catbert replies, "We test your general health. If it's good, you're not working enough hours. You thief."
Thursday August 15,
1996
Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #contract employee, #rehired, #higher salary, #downsized, #dumb, #hire third time, #parable, #ant and spider, #both boring
Transcript
Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and says, "I was fired once, but I came back as a contract employee. Later I was rehired at a higher salary." Wally continues, "Now I'm being downsized again. Do you think they'll be dumb enough to hire me a third time?" Dogbert says, "Your story reminds me of the parable of the ant and the spider." Wally asks, "Really? How?" Dogbert replies, "They're both boring."
Saturday September 28,
1996
Tags #naked and exhausted, #fishing boat, #grabbed line, #held on, #secondd time, #threw back in
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair wearing a bathrobe and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . There I was, naked and exhausted, miles from shore. Dolphins taunted me for hours." Dilbert continues, "Suddenly a deep sea sport fishing boat happened by. I grabbed the line and held on for my life." Dogbert replies, "Wow! That's lucky." Dilbert says, "That's what I thought . . . Until the second time they threw me back in." Dogbert replies, "I meant lucky for them."
Saturday November 16,
1996
Tags #brian, #work for comapny, #job interview, #practice interview, #done here, #lunch time, #don't see sandwhiches
Transcript
Dilbert and a man sit at a table. Dilbert says, "So tell me . . . Brian . . . Why do you want to work for this company?" The man replies, "Well, to be honest, I don't. I'm using this as a practice interview." Dilbert says, "I guess we're done here." Brian looks at his watch and says, "Hello-o-o!!! It's lunch time and I don't see sandwiches."
Monday December 02,
1996
Tags #metric, #project, #growth rate, #time zone, #favorable, #working smater, #not harder, #new paradignm
Transcript
Wally, Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally points to a diagram and says, "This metric shows an excellent trend in the number of days since the beginning of my project." Wally continues, "That growth rate compares favorably with the best companies in our time zone." As they walk away, Wally tells Dilbert, "I'm working smarter, not harder." Dilbert says, "It's a whole new paradigm."
Wednesday January 22,
1997
Tags #canceling life insurance, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #extend vacations, #family freindly, #no longer allow, #remove incentives, #time off for death, #kill relatives
Transcript
Catbert stands at his desk and types, "Effective immediately, the company will no longer allow time off for the death of a family member." Catbert continues, "This 'family friendly' policy will remove your incentive to extend vacations by killing relatives." Catbert continues, "And more good news: we're canceling your life insurance so your family won't try to snuff you out either."
Saturday January 25,
1997
Tags #employee survey, #tabulated, #under paid, #management is incompetent, #bizarre, #unworldly response, #travel alarm clock, #company logo
Transcript
Alice, the Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The results of the employee survey have been tabulated." The Boss continues, "As always, employees say they are underpaid, blah, blah, blah, and management is incompetent." Alice asks, "And your bizarre, unworldly response will be?" The Boss replies, "Everyone gets a travel alarm clock with the company logo!"
Saturday February 15,
1997
Tags #wendy, #new secretary, #time to process, #pay increase, #on desk, #three months, #more is not better
Transcript
Carol tells Dilbert, "This is Wendy, my new secretary." Dilbert replies, "I didn't know secretaries could have secretaries." Dilbert asks, "Now will you have time to process my pay increase? It's been on your desk for three months." Carol and Wendy laugh. Dilbert thinks, "Here's another case where more is not better."
Tuesday February 25,
1997
Tags #frazzled, #meet deadlines, #all day meeting off site, #theroy, #more time to explin
Transcript
Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'm totally frazzled. There simply isn't enough time in the day to meet my upcoming deadlines." Dilbert's hair and clothes are disheveled. The Boss says, "Let's have an all-day meeting off-site so I can explain why the deadlines are so important." Dilbert says, "So, your theory is that I'll have more time in the day if you explain something I already know?" The Boss replies, "I don't have a lot of tools here."
Thursday February 27,
1997
Tags #primitive cultures, #no concept of zero, #zero time left, #additional work, #conversation, #downhill, #zorro
Transcript
Dilbert tells the Boss, "I've heard that some primitive cultures had no mathematical concept of 'zero.'" Dilbert continues, "Sometimes I think you're like that when I tell you I have zero time left for additional work." The caption says, "The conversation went downhill from there." Dilbert screams, "No, that's 'Zorro.' You're NOT like Zorro."