Turn Off Comic Strips - Page 9
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739 Results for Turn Off
View 81 - 90 results for turn off comic strips. Discover the best "Turn Off" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 28,
2003
Tags #employee of week, #hose off, #company hose, #landing pad, #helicopter, #bird droppings
Transcript
The Boss: "Asok, you've been named 'Employee of the Week!'" "The title gives you access to the executive helicopter landing pad on the roof." "And by 'access' I mean you hose off the bird droppings every morning." Asok: "I get to use the company hose!!!"
Saturday December 13,
2003
Tags #feet off desk, #random mangement, #stock rise, #so random, #commands
Transcript
The Boss: "Take your feet off the desk." Dilbert: "Is this an example of random management or do you think it will make our stock rise?" The Boss: "It's up .02%. Heh-heh-heh, not so random after all."
Wednesday February 18,
2004
Tags #home theater, #dvd, #hd, #dvr, #satellite dish, #mp3, #widescreen, #universal remote, #people over, #turn on
Transcript
The Boss: "My new home theater is amazing." "It's got a dvd, hd, dvr, fm, satellite dish, mp3, widescreen tv, seven speakers and a universal remote." "It's fun to invite people over so they can show me how to turn it on."
Wednesday March 10,
2004
Tags #cubicles, #banana peel, #garbage, #stink all day, #speech wore off
Transcript
wally: I can't put this banana peel in my trash; it will stink all day. The boss: apparently my teamwork speech wore off.
Monday August 09,
2004
Tags #bad connection, #billing codes, #throw desk, #off builing, #miscommunication, #car, #cell phone, #technology
Transcript
The Boss: "We have a bad connection, so listen carefully." "Throw ... my ... desk ... off ... building..." "Okay." "I hope that sounded like 'go through my desk and office and find the billing codes'."
Tuesday August 10,
2004
Tags #point haired boss, #throw desk, #off biliding, #cell phone, #bad connection, #carry desk, #roof, #thrown, #happy, #technology
Transcript
"Are you sure that our pointy-haired boss said to throw his desk off the building?" "Well, his cell phone had a really bad connection." "Do you care?" "Not so much."
Wednesday November 24,
2004
Tags #email, #face on cows butt, #morale, #objects, #off color jokes, #photoshopped
Transcript
The boss: "Alice, you've ben accused of forwarding off-color jokes by e-mail." The Boss: "Do you object to the increase in morale or the nickel it cost the company so far?" "I object to my face being photoshopped to a cow's butt." Alice: "You object to art?"
Thursday November 25,
2004
Tags #off color email, #75 poeple, #thought funny, #one compalined, #punished, #sensible, #punish complainer
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: "I understand that you forwarded an off-color e-mail to many people." "Seventy-Five people thought it was funny but one person complained, so you must be punished." "Wouldn't it make more sense to punish the freak who complained?" "Do I look sensible?"
Monday November 29,
2004
Tags #main prodcut, #coming off patent, #profits will plunge, #shallowm, #paid for there inventions
Transcript
Our main product is coming off patent. "Profits will plunge and so will my bonus. It's not fair." "Call me shallow. But I enjoy getting paid for other people's inventions." "SHALLOW!"
Sunday November 21,
1999
Tags #young dilbert, #mother, #kitchen denied permission, #skateboard, #construction site, #jumped off cliff, #credibility, #Family
Transcript
A young Dilbert is in the kitchen with his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go skateboarding at the construction site?" Mom replies, "No." Dilbert asks, "Why not? Everyone else does it." Mom asks, "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Dilbert replies, "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training and equipment." Dilbert goes on, "But if 100% of the people who jumped off cliffs said they enjoyed it, as in my skateboard example... "...Then I would conclude that it was safe." Dilbert continues, "A better question might have been, "If everyone wore clothes, would you do that?"..." Dilbert outside, walking off with his skateboard thinking, "Her credibility gets worse every day."