Useful Things Comic Strips - Page 9
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510 Results for Useful Things
View 81 - 90 results for useful things comic strips. Discover the best "Useful Things" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 19,
2014
Tags #thinking, #secret to success, #keeping things simple, #absolute, #realtive, #alternatives
Transcript
Boss: The secret to success is keeping things simple. Dilbert: Do you mean simple in an absolute sense or relative to the alternatives? Boss: It depends on the situation. Dilbert: Sounds complicated.
Sunday August 31,
2014
Tags #ten things, #leaders do, #nine habits, #successful people, #article, #time management, #tricks, #good leadership, #listening skills
Transcript
Wally: Did you get the link I sent about the ten things all leaders need to do? I also sent you an article about the nine habits of successful people. And I sent you an article about the time management tricks used by successful people. According ti my research. There are 17,429 tricks you need to master to be a good leader. That might seem like a lot. But if you master ten per year, you'll be 1.2% competent by the time you retire. Boss: Why are we having this conversation? Wally: Im going to add "Listening skills" to the list.
Thursday November 06,
2014
Tags #buy things, #deception, #evil, #evil tool, #images, #lab notes, #marketing, #obliviousness, #presentation, #screen, #unique sequence, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I discovered a unique sequence of sights and sounds that makes people buy things they don't need. I recommend that we destroy all of my lab notes and rid the world of this evil tool. CEO: You never told him what marketing is? Boss: He didn't need to know.
Friday June 19,
2015
Useful Meetings
Tags #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #leadership, #business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to come to a meeting now. Dilbert: Can I do something useful instead? Boss: The meeting will be useful. Dilbert: More useful than what I'm doing? Boss: How would I know? Dilbert: Is all leadership random or just yours?
Sunday August 07,
2016
Tags #work, #job, #happiness, #fulfillment, #meaning, #pleasure, #struggle, #engagement, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: I want a job I can enjoy. Dilbert: You want to work for free? Asok: No, I just want to get paid for doing things I want to do. Dilbert: Perhaps you misunderstand the true nature of "work." The reason your employer pays you is because work is unpleasant by its very nature. If the job were fun, the company would charge you a fee for letting you do it. Boss: Asok, I need you to climb into the dumpster and find out what's making it smell so bad. Asok: At least I'm doing something useful. Boss: No, it's more of a curiosity situation.
Thursday August 03,
2017
Dilbert Does Nothing Useful
Tags #work ethic, #meaning, #meaningless, #motivation, #laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: All I did today was create a bunch of PowerPoint slides that no one will understand. But I got paid the same as if I had done something useful. Is this the first stage of becoming you? Wally: If you're lucky.
Thursday September 21,
2017
Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes
Tags #human resources, #results, #confidentiality, #progress, #business
Transcript
Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.
Wednesday August 08,
2018
Comparing Things
Thursday October 11,
2018
Anticipate Problems
Tags #Wally, #anticipate, #finishing, #friday, #punctual, #anticipating, #things, #problems
Transcript
Man: Do you anticipate any problems finishing by Friday? Wally: I do not. Man: Is that because you're punctual or because you aren't good at anticipating things? Wally: I don't foresee any unforeseen problems. Man: Okay. Wait...
Wednesday November 13,
2019
Not Humanly Possible
Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #budget, #workflow, #procedure, #impossible, #useful
Transcript
boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.