Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 9
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1000 Results for Work Ethic
View 81 - 90 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 08,
2016
Employee Hat With Sensors
Tags mind control, thoughts, police, policing, work ethic, leisure, daydreaming, control, surveillance, legal
Transcript
Boss: The sensors in your employee hat tell me you are not having work-related thoughts. I have to dock your pay for all of that leisure time you try to sneak into your workday. Here's a screen shot of what you've been thinking. Dilbert: I'm going to remember this as a bad day.
Thursday February 11,
2016
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`
Tags posture, mascot, success, hunchback, work ethic, reward
Transcript
CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.
Friday February 12,
2016
The Root Cause Of Bad Posture
Tags posture, health, work ethic, laziness, back pain
Transcript
Dilbert: How do you keep your posture so straight? Wally: It's easy. You have to understand the root cause of your poor posture before you can eliminate it. Dilbert: Bad ergonomics? Wally: Work.
Monday May 23,
2016
Self Empowered Week
Tags honesty, aspirations, work ethic, standards, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.
Monday June 06,
2016
Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency
Tags work ethic, laziness, scam, efficience, culture
Transcript
Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.
Saturday June 18,
2016
Dilbert Doesn't Need Vacations
Tags vacation, work ethic, workload, time off
Transcript
Boss: Company policy says you have to take a vacation. Dilbert: I don't want one. I would be bored for a week and come back to all the work that piled up while I was gone. Boss: Nothing about you is normal. Dilbert: Thank you.
Wednesday June 29,
2016
Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot
Tags laziness, working from home, work ethic, technology, bot
Transcript
Wally: I got approval to work from home. My chatbot will answer all of my emails and text messages. Dilbert: Chatbot answers would be useless. Wally: I hope so. Otherwise it wouldn't sound like me.
Wednesday July 13,
2016
Who Alan Works For
Tags threat, motivation, fear, work ethic
Transcript
Alice: If you do what I tell you to do, I will nominate you for employee of the year. If not, I will spend the rest of my days spreading rumors about you. Terrible, terrible rumors. Dilbert: Hey, Alan. Who do you work for these days? Alan: Whoever scares me the most.
Tuesday July 19,
2016
Boss Wears Virtual Reality Goggles
Tags vr, virtual reality, deception, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I convinced our boss to wear virtual reality goggles all day. Boss: Good job, Wally! I've never seen you work so many hours! Wally: reality is nice, but I find it limiting.
Sunday August 14,
2016
Tags workload, work ethic, laziness, teamwork, team, philosophy, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.


