Yell Accomplishment Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

89 Results for Yell Accomplishment

View 81 - 89 results for yell accomplishment comic strips. Discover the best "Yell Accomplishment" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #loneliness, #accomplishments, #job interview, #hnesty, #wrong motives, #employment, #make a difference, #catatonic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Describe your biggest accomplishment from your last job. Interviewee: I made some phone calls and stuff. I think I made a difference. Boss: Do you want this job? Interviewee: Nah. Just lonely.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #bad advice, #projects, #work load, #freaking out, #tackle, #unpleasant tasks first, #wrong order

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have too many projects. I'm freaking out. Boss: Experts say you should tackle the most unpleasant tasks first, so you have a feeling of accomplishment and control. Dilbert: Now I have too many projects and some extra anxiety that I'm doing them in the wrong order. Boss: Off you go.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality, #work ethic, #shortcut, #laziness, #defective, #awards, #engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gestures, #etiquette, #male, #Men, #masculinity, #social norms

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I never know the right time to high-five. I feel as if I should automatically know, like a male instinct. For example, when do you initiate a high-five and when do you simply yell "woo-hoo?" Those situations look the same to me. What's my problem? Alice: So many things. But in this specific case, the problem is your total lack of masculinity. Dilbert: High-five?

Wally's Awesome Emails

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Awesome Emails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse, #competition, #accomplishment

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: This week I designed and built a prototype that can turn any kind of garbage into fuel. Boss: And Wally? Wally: I sent out some emails, but no one answered. Before you judge me, keep in mind that you don't know how awesome those emails were.

Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #swearing, #exaggeration, #deception, #accomplishment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Boss Loves Criticism

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Loves Criticism - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mentor, #mentee, #protege, #Advice, #competition, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"

Lower The Price

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lower The Price - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #prices, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss will yell at me if I don't negotiate a lower price. What can you do for me? Man: I lowered the price by ten percent before I showed it to you. Dilbert: I have no way of verifying your claim. Man: Neither does your boss. Problem solved.