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Dogbert sitting next to Dilbert while he types on his computer. Dogbert says, "As a consultant, I'm overpaid even if I do bad work." Dogbert continues, "Whereas you're underpaid even if you do good work. It's funny if you think about it." Dilbert, while typing, replies, "I might have a terrible job, but at least I don't have any job security."
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert tells The Boss, "I'm having trouble finding qualified external applicants." Catbert says, "All I have are a headless man, a mime, and a frozen cro-magnon guy we found in a glacier." The Boss asks, "Does the mime bring his own invisible cubicle? I love those!" Catbert replies, "Only if we pay his relocation costs."
Bob hands Dilbert something and says, "The marketing department saves the day! Check out these brochures I made." Bob reports, "This new product will allow us to dominate the market!" Dilbert says, "But we don't make this product." Bob says, "That hasn't hurt our sales so far."
Dilbert and Dogbert sitting on a couch. Dilbert is eating chips. Dogbert says, "I donated a billion dollars to the United Nations today." Dilbert replies, "That's nice of you." Dogbert says, "My only condition is that they name something after me." At the United Nations, three UN representatives sit at a table. The French diplomat exclaims, "For the millionth time: Yes, I'm sure we want to keep calling it France!"
Wally, The Boss, and Allen the Sycophant sitting at table. The Boss says, "That's my plan. What does everyone think?" Allen exclaims, "Brilliant!" The Boss and Dilbert looking at Allen as he raves, "THAT IS THE BEST PLAN EVER MADE!! WOW! OOH-WAH! YOU DA MAN!!" The Boss says, "That's the type of honest feedback we need." Allen says, "I love it when you exhale in my direction."
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sitting on desk while Alice puts her hand on her head and says, "My eyes are sore from using the computer." Catbert says, "Try typing with your fingers, the way everyone else does." Catbert lays on top of his computer and thinks, "Personally, I find computers very restful on my eyes."
Bob the Dinosaur looking at Dogbert, who is wearing a crown and staring at himself in a mirror. Bob inquires, "What's the crown for?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "There aren't any charismatic leaders in the world lately. I'm going to fill the void." Bob asks, "Don't charismatic leaders usually turn out to be egomaniacal, philandering sociopaths?" Dogbert looks into the mirror and replies, "And they look good in hats!"
Wally, Dilbert, and The Boss siting at table. The Boss reads from a sheet of paper, "Dangerous asbestos has been found in every room in our building." The Boss continues, "The problem will be addressed using a ... scientific process." Wally, Dilbert, and The Boss sitting at table. The Boss continues, "Something called attrition."
Dilbert and Wally watch the Boss tell Ed, "Nervous Ed, I'm assigning you to a special project." Nervous Ed pulls his tie and replies, "Special assignment? That means you don't have any real work for me." Nervous Ed continues, "Everybody knows that a special assignment is a kiss of death." The Boss continues, "You'll be sharing a cubicle with six other employees who are also on special assignment." Nervous Ed looks scared and thinks, "Don't panic yet . . . Maybe it's something important . . . Maybe it's something that could make an impact." The Boss says, "Your assignment is to improve employee empowerment." Nervous Ed looks shocked. Nervous Ed convulses and faints. Wally tells the Boss, "Thanks for letting us watch." The Boss asks, "Did you like the part about six in the cubicle?"
The Boss tells Wally and Dilbert, "I just arranged to have my body cryogenically frozen before my death." The Boss continues, "In a hundred years I'll be revived and cured. That way, future generations will get the benefits of knowing me." Wally says, "I hope you have a good warm coat." The Boss asks, "Coat? Nobody said anything about needing a coat." Wally explains, "Obviously you need a coat. It's freezing in that cryogenic chamber. You'd better wear long underwear too." Wally continues, "Don't let then tell you otherwise. Remember, the customer is always right!" The Boss walks away thinking, "I want a space heater in there too!" Dilbert tells Wally, "That wasn't nice." Wally replies, "I did it for future generations."