How To Comic Strips - Page 90
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1000 Results for How To
View 891 - 900 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 24,
2005
Tags unpaid overtime, death, deny pleasures, good night kiss, this thing, medical
Transcript
"You know what two things are very similar?" "Unpaid overtime and death. They both deny me the pleasures of being alive." "How about a good night kiss?" "Hey, you found a third thing!"
Monday October 31,
2005
Tags overall startegy, never ask questiom, hear the answer
Transcript
How does my project fit into our company's overall strategy? "Beats me. I didn't even know we had a strategy." "Never ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer." "That's why I never say 'How are you?'"
Friday November 18,
2005
Tags buy advertsising, gullible world, 2 billion readers, three readers
Transcript
Would you like to buy advertising in my new magazine called 'Gullible World'? "We have between one and two billion readers!" "Wow!" "I figured out how to make three readers sound like a lot."
Saturday November 19,
2005
Tags gullible world magazine, engineering, before and after, picture, before picture pose, sexy
Transcript
"May I take your picture for a feature story in 'Gullible World' magazine?" "It's a story about how engineering makes you sexier." "Gosh, okay." "Perfect. Now all I need is someone to pose for the 'After' picture."
Monday November 21,
2005
Tags hired abusive, lying, control freak, difficult coworkers
Transcript
"I hired an abusive, lying, back-stabbing, control freak." "But don't worry, because I'm sending you to a class on how to deal with difficult coworkers." "Wouldn't it have been better to..." "I've heard bad things about that guy."
Saturday December 24,
2005
Tags power point zone, real wolrd, bullet points, imaginary prodcutivity, eight lsides
Transcript
I am entering the PowerPoint zone. "I no longer feel the need to change the real world as long as I can change these bullet points." "How much imaginary productivity did you have today?" "Eight slides!"
Wednesday December 28,
2005
Tags new guy, project staus report, random pharse, generatormmeail, listens, when he's talking
Transcript
"Alice, can you show the new guy how to do a project status report?" "He doesn't read them, so we all use a random phrase generator. I'll e-mail it to you." "You said that in front of him." "He only listens when he's talking."
Wednesday January 04,
2006
Tags yellow sticky note road, wizard of landfill, coffee cup, caffeine
Transcript
"Will the yellow sticky-note road lead me home?" "Not directly." "We're off to see the Wonderful Wizard of Landfill. He'll know how to get you home." "Holy #!%$, I hope this isn't him." "Coffee...cup...need...caffeine..." Continued
Friday January 06,
2006
Saturday January 07,
2006
Transcript
"Oh great Wizard of Landfill, can you show me how to go home?...Also, my pals need experience and ambition." "You're here because you ran out of good ideas...Here are a few gems about the idiots who manage my company." "There's no place like my home office...There's no place like my home office..." "He was creepy."

