Office Equipment Comic Strips - Page 90
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1000 Results for Office Equipment
View 891 - 900 results for office equipment comic strips. Discover the best "Office Equipment" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 02,
2020
Wally Rounds Off
Tags office workers, business, work, critical, tasks, failed, enjoyment, anger
Transcript
wally: i did no work this week because i had too many critical tasks to do. no matter what i worked on, i would have failed to do the other 99% of tasks that were equally critical. so i rounded it off to 100% and enjoyed my week. alice yelling: why do i work here??? why???
Wednesday March 04,
2020
Facial Recognition
Tags office workers, sarcasm, facial, recognition, identification, social, media, history, business, office
Transcript
office worker: hi, i'm ... dilbert holding up stop hand: hold on. my facial recognition app has identified you and is now showing me your social media history. office worker: uh-oh. dilbert: it seems it would be unwise for me to touch your hand.
Thursday March 05,
2020
Wally Prefers Systems
Tags managers & supervisors, business, office workers, goals, question, answer, system, year
Transcript
dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.
Tuesday March 10,
2020
Ghosts Use Bitcoin
Tags business, office, money, die, ghost, password, bitcoin, clothes
Transcript
boss drinking coffee: they say you can't take your money with you when you die. but does that include bitcoin? because even a ghost can remember a password. dilbert: why would a ghost need money? boss: have you never noticed they all wear clothes?
Monday March 16,
2020
Bet My Life On It
Wednesday March 18,
2020
Diet Preferences
Tags conference room, office workers, chitchat, bore, diet, preferences
Transcript
dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat. dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences. ted: i only eat figs. dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.
Thursday March 19,
2020
Dogbert The Futurist
Tags futurist, predict, hire, industry, time, business, hard, work
Transcript
boss: i hired a futurist to predict where our industry is headed. dogbert: you don't need to be here. you might want to enjoy the time you have left. office worker: what? dogbert: for the rest of you, i see hard work with no rewards.
Friday March 20,
2020
Two Futures
Tuesday March 24,
2020
Passion
Tags office workers, business, live, parents, passion, job, match, career, porcelain, frog, fault
Transcript
office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?
Sunday March 29,
2020
Dilbert Did Not Say That
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, boss, prototype, authority, idiot, liar, innocent, guilty
Transcript
co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!

