Only One Idea Comic Strips - Page 90

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Only One Idea

View 891 - 900 results for only one idea comic strips. Discover the best "Only One Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no click shopping, #patent, #whiners, #ship books

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert holds a clipboard and approaches Dilbert at his computer. Dogbert says, "My patent for no-click shopping was granted." Dogbert continues, "I'm sure some whiners will say it's an obvious idea." Dogbert turns to Dilbert and says, "You'd better click something or I'll have to ship you some books."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #500 with tax, #complains about tax, #morale improvement award, #morale display

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says aloud, "The five hundred dollar morale improvement award goes to Ed." Shocked, Ed looks at the check and screams "Gaa!! It's only $240 after taxes!!!" Wally says to Dilbert, "So that's what good morale looks like." Dilbert replies, "Apparently we've had it the whole time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #every person, #on earth, #one person, #the entire world, #tibetan monks, #ugly website

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, everyone says our website is ugly." Ming replies, "Really? Every person on earth said that? Even Tibetan monks?" The Boss meekly answers, "Maybe it was just one person." Ming asked, "And you confused him with the entire planet?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two faced, #employee, #see one, #turn around, #other faces, #confusing, #frustrating, #pointing

View Transcript

Transcript

Edfred: I disagree with Dilbert. The boss's plan is brilliant. Dilbert: Your other face agreed with me two minutes ago! What other face? No...I still just see the one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #collaboration, #defective, #intranet, #dogbert consults

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dogbert the consultant, "No one uses the intranet collaboration software you sold us." Dogbert replies, "Your employees are defective. I recommend cat scans." Catbert examines Wally's head. "This one is defective too", Catbert says. The Boss yells, "Next in line!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insulted, #same level, #attractness, #hot sexy car, #electric car

View Transcript

Transcript

Ming says to Dilbert, "Frankly, I'm insulted that you asked me out." Ming continues, "It means you think we're about the same level of attractiveness." Ming then says to Dilbert, "You'd better have one heckuva sexy car." Dilbert replies, "It's electric."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loofah, #new company concierge, #personal, #any errand

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to his staff, "Ratbert is our new company concierge." Ratbert says, "I will perform any errand, no matter how personal or degrading it is." One employee says to Ratbert, "I need a loofah." Ratbert replies, "Lather me up!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dna, #feed her, #human genome, #human simulations, #invented, #mapped and decoded, #market application, #on computer watch, #punish her, #samples, #software, #software simulation, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rendered useless, #stress, #bad management, #secret, #quiet, #blare

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says to the Boss and Dilbert, "This week I was rendered useless by the stress of bad management." Dilbert says to Asok, "That's something we only say in the cafeteria." Asok says to the Boss, "You're doing a terrific job!" Dilbert says to Asok, "Try to find a middle range."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #impractical plan, #philosophy, #hard, #worth doing, #walk around, #hop on one foot, #reasoning capabilities

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, "This plan is impractical." The Boss says to Dilbert, "My philosophy is that if it isn't hard, it isn't worth doing." Dilbert responds, "That's easy to say." Dilbert continues, "So according to your philosophy, you shouldn't have said it." Dilbert then says to the Boss, "And it's easy to walk around. Maybe you should hop on one foot." Dilbert continues, "Or would it be better to recant your absurd philosophy..." Dilbert says to the Boss, "And bow before superior reasoning capabilities?" The Boss leaves Dilbert hopping one one foot.