Boss Ego Comic Strips - Page 90

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View 891 - 900 results for boss ego comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Ego" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #excuse, #illness

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Wally: I have a note from my doctor. It says I'm too sensitive to handle criticism. I don't understand all the medical details. It has something to do with the mind-body connection. One minor criticism from you and my lungs will collapse. If that happens, you'll need to pinch my nose, create a seal with your mouth, and reinflate them. Boss: This doctor's note looks like your handwriting. Wally: Ow! My lung!

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Asok Has Worst Job In The World

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Asok Has Worst Job In The World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hit man, #job, #happiness, #satisfaction, #doppelganger, #double, #lookalike, #business, #psychology

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Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.

Asok Kills The Wrong Cartoonist

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Asok Kills The Wrong Cartoonist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Garfield, #hit man, #cartoonist, #mistaken identity

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Asok: I killed our spokesperson, Jim Davis, yesterday, as you ordered. Boss: You killed the wrong cartoonist! Asok: Now I hate Mondays even more.

Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man

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Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #twitter, #public speaking, #embarrassment, #spokesperson, #killing, #racism, #assumption, #technology

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Boss: Our company spokesperson embarrassed us on social media. Does this qualify him for an "honor killing?" Asok: No, and you're a racist. Boss: Here's what he said on social media. Asok: Okay, I'm in.

Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real

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Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #sociopath, #pathology, #hit man, #murder, #killing, #morals, #emotions

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CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #morning, #waking up, #sleepless, #complaining, #manager, #sociopath, #emotions

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Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.

Cartoonist As Spokesperson

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Cartoonist As Spokesperson - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spokesperson, #embarrassment, #celebrity, #promoter, #product

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Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.

Hire A Famous Cartoonist

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Hire A Famous Cartoonist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #samsung, #safety, #explosion, #battery, #marketing, #trust, #celebrity, #cartoonist, #business

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Boss: We need to regain customer trust after our exploding phone fiasco. Dogbert: You need a celebrity endorsement. People trust celebrities with their life-and-death decisions. Maybe a famous cartoonist. Boss: I don't see how that could go wrong. Narrator: Continued...

Dogber Pr Firm Helps With Phones

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Dogber Pr Firm Helps With Phones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety, #product, #pr, #public relations, #battery, #samsung, #explosion, #danger

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Boss: We hired The Dogbert Public Relations Firm to help us with our exploding phone problem. Dogbert: We have two choices. We can either recall all of the phones, or we can convince people that having one ear is cool. Boss: Recalls are expensive. Dogbert: Okay, the Van Gogh strategy it is.

Ted Gets A New Phone

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Ted Gets A New Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punishment, #reward, #gift, #samsung, #explosion, #battery

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Boss: Congratulations, Ted, your job performance has earned you a new mobile phone. Ted: Isn't this the model that has the exploding battery problem? Boss: Your job performance wasn't good either.