Business People Comic Strips - Page 90

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business People

View 891 - 900 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Miracle Of Consciousness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Miracle Of Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jaded, blase, unimpressed, dating, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Do you ever marvel at the miracle of consciousness? Dilbert: No. People are just fish plus time. Woman: Does anything amaze you? Dilbert: This is my longest date ever! 49 minutes!

Government Wants Access To Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Government Wants Access To Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags national security, privacy, technology, big business, terrorism

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.

Being More Honest

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being More Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing, advertising, honesty, cover-up, performance, shortcoming, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.

Change To Bad Design

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Change To Bad Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags link, traffic, design, color, Opinion, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you make that link button blue instead of burnt orange? Dilbert: Yes, if you want people to click on it, and you thrive on bad design. Boss: I have an eye for design. Dilbert: And I have an elbow for music.

The Science Of Astrology

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Astrology, metaphysics, science, planning, sign, zodiac, pseudoscience

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

New Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, generic, job, placeholder, disposable, guest artist, brenna thummler, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.

Ted Has A Ravine Option

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Has A Ravine Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, empathy, hr, human resources, mean, guest artist, brenna thummler, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Ted: Dilbert said he wants me to drive into a ravine. Catbert: I want that too. I didn't realize it was an option. Ted: Perhaps I have come tot he wrong place. Catbert: I hear good things about the ravine.

Simplify The Slide

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Simplify The Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, insult, smart, dumb, powerpoint, guest artist, joel friday

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You need to simplify that slide. Dilbert: Did you understand it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Then why do you think smart people will be confused? Boss: I can't tell if that was an insult. Dilbert: Ask a smart person.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, coding, code, control, efficiency, purpose, job, red tape, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: Step away from that open source code! Dilbert: Why? Mordac: Because I am Mordac, The Preventer of All Efficient Solutions in the Information Technology Realm. Dilbert: That isn't an actual job. Mordac: I was hoping it was. I lost the file with my job description. That was five years ago. I've been winging it since then. My parents taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be this. So don't use that code! Dilbert: Not even when you turn around?

Try Not Being Boring

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Try Not Being Boring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, inspiration, frustration, bored, boring, powerpoint, meeting, obliviousness, eric scott, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.