Telecommute Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 90

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evolution training, #make it thourgh, #banana, #peel, #gorillas, #neanderthal, #monkeys, #jungle naimals

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Headline: Evolution Training. Dogbert stands atop a stool in front of students with a pointer in his hand. He says, "Some of you will not make it through the class." A banana who happens to be seated next to a gorilla raises its hand and asks, "May I move to a different seat?" The rest of the class looks on. Dogbert responds, "Sure... Oops. Problem solved. Carl, don't leave that where someone will slip on it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #growing into job, #accelerated evolution, #progarm, #million years, #two day classes, #lose fire, #opposable thimbs

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The Boss sits at his desk with his hands crossed. He says, "Monty. You're not growing into your job as quickly as I hoped." Monty, a monkey in a suit, stands opposite from The Boss, looking grim. The Boss' voice continues, "So I signed you up for an accelerated evolution program. They pack a million years into a two-day class." Dogbert stands in front of a blackboard atop a stool and yells to Monty and the monkey behind him as they enter the classroom. He says authoritatively, "Hurry up! We've already lost the opposable thumbs module; let's not lose fire too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #life no purpose, #scratch back, #service to others, #feel useful, #found something, #works

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting by the bank of a river. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My life has no purpose." Dogbert responds, "Scratch my back." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Are you saying the purpose of life is service to others?" Dogbert says "Okay." Dilberts says to Dogbert, "It does make me feel useful." Dogbert responds "I think we both found something that works."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #electrician, #fix furnace, #invention, #plumber, #roofer, #space time continuum, #carpenter, #fix furnace 1991

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Dogbert stands on a stool watching as Dilbert fixes what looks like a time machine. Dilbert says, "My invention will let me search the service industry's space-time continuum." Dilbert is seen in the machine travelling through a galaxy with several floating workmen. Dilbert says, "Plumber, roofer, carpenter, electrician." Dilbert stops and looks at one worker and says, "Weren't you supposed to fix my furnace in 1991?" The worker replies, "You're my next house."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #perfectionist, #reasons to hate, #rock eroding

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk in a park. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a perfectionist." Dilbert turns to look at Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "That way, I'll have more reasons to hate people." Dogbert and Dilbert sit down on two rocks. Dogbert turns to Dilbert and says, "Your rock is eroding wrong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #temp, #sign time sheet, #permanent position, #dog, #has fake owner, #dilbert clone, #doll, #stand in, #fake person, #animals

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Dilbert walks through the door of his house and says, "Dogbert! I'm ho-o-ome!" Dogbert appears in the doorway and says, "I'll be right there. I have to sign the temp's time sheet." Dilbert walks into the living room and finds a man sitting on a couch in a mask of his face, and Dogbert standing next to him saying, "If you're ever interested in a full-time position, give me a call."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #monday morning, #travel all day, #stealing life, #reschedule, #social plans, #business

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The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I told them you would be at the meeting Monday morning." Dilbert says, "What?? That means I have to travel all day Sunday. You're stealing my life!" Dilbert sits on the couch in his robe eating. He turns to Dogbert and says, "Then he said if I had social plans he'd reschedule." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #blah blah, #escape, #gnaw arm, #non stop talker, #trapped in cucbicle, #want to escape, #trapped animal, #people leave

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Dilbert sits in his cubicle as a co-worker says, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH." Dilbert thinks to himself, "I'm trapped in my own cubicle." Dilbert looks down at his arm and thinks, "Maybe I can gnaw off my arm to escape." Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert with a bandage on his arm. Dogbert asks, "And that worked?" Dilbert replies, "People don't stick around when you start gnawing on your arm."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #contract states, #nick names, #mottos, #political preferences, #new contract, #fact, #skippy, #communist now

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table, each reviewing a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "Our contract clearly states that I can give you nicknames, mottos and political preferences." Dilbert sits with his arms folded over his chest and says, "I demand a new contract based on the fact that I didn't read this one before I signed it." Dogbert replies, "Too bad, Skippy. You're a communist now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #new motto, #dance hurts, #love money, #work when people watch, #read contract, #assign mottos, #Dilbert, #Dogbert

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Dilbert sits on the couch. Dogbert sits next to him and says, "This will be your new motto..." Dogbert continues, "Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching." Dilbert says, "You can't assign mottos to me." Dogbert replies, "You'd better read your contract."