Topper Versus Alice Comic Strips - Page 90

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Topper Versus Alice

View 891 - 900 results for topper versus alice comic strips. Discover the best "Topper Versus Alice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Topper "I had to carry over three weeks of vacation." "That's nothing!" "I carried over so much time that they had to create a new month and name it after me!" "Shut your pie hole!" "It looks as if someone is having a bad topperuary."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2006's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #stupidity, #leaping off page, #simple, #won't work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally refuse to support my project plan. Will you take a look at it? "GAAA!!! The stupidity is leaping off the page and burrowing into my brain!!!" "Does anyone around here known how to say a simple 'This won't work'?" gurgle

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2006's comic on:


Tags #contract emplyee, #dangling carrot, #regular emplyee, #understand metaphors

View Transcript

Transcript

I'll bring you on as a contract employee. "Then I'll keep you motivated by dangling the carrot of becoming a regular employee." "Your first mistake was assuming that he understands metaphors."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2006's comic on:


Tags #less prodcutive, #automatic promotion, #hiring, #work like idiot, #look like idiot, #pointy haired alice

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2006's comic on:


Tags #important sales call, #secret weapon, #ed from sales, #prices identical, #engineering staff, #competitor, #employs loser, #act surprised

View Transcript

Transcript

"I need you to accompany me on an important sales call." "Me?" "You're my secret weapon." "Well, okay." "What's your name?" "I'm Ed, from sales." "Only two companies make this type of product. The prices are identical." "The difference is that our engineering staff brings genius and innovation to everything it touches." "Whereas my competitor employs this loser." "Really? I wondered why you didn't look familiar." "Sold!" "You helped make a sale?" "Why does everyone act all surprised?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2006's comic on:


Tags #concerns about work, #teds work, #team building exercise, #test here, #sent asok

View Transcript

Transcript

"I listened to your concerns about Ted's work, so I tricked him into being left in the middle of the desert." "He thinks it's a team-building exercise. Hee hee!" "We wanted you to transfer him, not kill him." "Really? This is awkward." "And this is Ted. Where's Asok?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2006's comic on:


Tags #space heaters, #not allowed, #cubicles, #heat space, #uranus warm

View Transcript

Transcript

"Company policy says that space heaters are not allowed in cubicles." "My heater doesn't heat space. It heats the air in my cubicle. That's okay, right?" "Why would anyone heat 'space'?" "It keeps Uranus warm."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2006's comic on:


Tags #art, #modern art, #nonsense, #taste, #culture

View Transcript

Transcript

Famous artist Dogberto will tell us his plans for our lobby. "I plan to buy a drop cloth at Home Depot and drape it over the security desk." "Won't that be hard on the guard?" "Not until I douse it with gas and light it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2006's comic on:


Tags #plant maintenance, #contract, #save money, #adopt plant, #unluckiest plant, #coffee dregs

View Transcript

Transcript

"We canceled our plant maintenance contract to save money." "Each employee will adopt a nearby plant and water it." The Unluckiest Plant in the Whole World "Now when I pour my coffee dregs on you, it will look like work!" "Must...run..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2006's comic on:


Tags #expressing opnion, #thousand expressions, #the wood chipper

View Transcript

Transcript

"Erk! That look says you want to kill me for expressing my opinion!" "No, no." "Women have a thousand expressions that say they want you to die. That one says she wants you to die of natural causes, preferably soon." Budda budda budda "She calls this one 'The Wood Chipper.'"