Feeble Minded People Comic Strips - Page 90
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1000 Results for Feeble Minded People
View 891 - 900 results for feeble minded people comic strips. Discover the best "Feeble Minded People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 11,
2010
Tags eat donut, doughnut, feng shui, workflow energy, project, stack of papers, design specs, angry, superstition, science
Transcript
Wally says, "It's good Feng Shui to stand next to you because you absorb the workflow energy." Alice says, "What?" The Boss says, "I need someone to check all of these design specs before tomorrow morning." Wally says, "Some people call it superstition, but I'm pretty sure it's a science."
Monday March 22,
2010
Tags cell phone, invention, old man's head, face front, shoulder, talk, creepy, lightbulb, edison, technology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "It's a cell phone shaped like an old man's head." Dilbert says, "It sits on your shoulder so you don't look as if you're talking to yourself." Dilbert says, "People probably told Edison that his lightbulb was creepy too."
Friday April 09,
2010
Tags powerpoint proboscis, medical condition, nose grows, long nose, lie, pinocchio, close eyes, grit teeth, nose through face, pain, sting, clench fists
Transcript
Asok says, "It's a medical conditions called sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis. My nose grows when other people lie." Man says, "I'm very concerned and interested in your condition, and not just because I'm trying to sell you something." Asok says, "Please stop." Asok says, "It might sting when I pull it out."
Wednesday April 14,
2010
Tags nose job, snout, dog nose, health insurance, surgery, veterinarian, career, match looks, engineer, shake hands, art department, medical, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."
Monday May 03,
2010
Tags tech support, sit down, talk, stool, computer, headset, technical problems, trick, hurt, pessimism, angry, technology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"
Saturday May 08,
2010
Tags preventer of information services, mordac, vampire, grumpy, crossed arms, upgrad computer, useful, non-standard, software, wordsmith, yell, point, engineering
Transcript
Mordac, the Preventer of Information Services Tina says, "My software is so old that I can't open any files that people send me." Mordac says, "I can't upgrade your computer because then it will be non-standard." Tina says, "And by non-standard, you mean useful?" Mordac says, "Be gone, wordsmith!"
Saturday May 29,
2010
Tags basic research, donuts, stupid, increase profits, stern, sit in chair, first bite
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm doing basic research to test my theory that donuts make other people stupid." The Boss says, "I expect you to do basic research that will increase our profits this quarter." Wally says, "Wow. It works on the first bite."
Wednesday June 02,
2010
Tags meeting, presentation, slide show, names, trademarked, hand motion, crotch area, wide eyes, shocked, gross, point, war criminals, nicknames, partnerless loving, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "This next slide shows all of the possible names for our product that are not already trademarked." The Boss says, "Are there any that don't remind people of this general area of the human body?" Dilbert says, "That narrows it down to the names of accused war criminals, and the funnier nicknames for partnerless loving."
Friday June 11,
2010
Tags favor, excuse, integration manager, director of sustainability, real, matrix management, neo
Transcript
Coworker says, "Wally, would you??" Wally says, "No. I'm doing something important for the brand integration manager." Coworker says, "Maybe after that you could?" Wally says, "Then I'm doing a rush job for the director of sustainability." Coworker says, "Are those even real people?" Wally says, "Welcome to Matrix management, Neo."
Saturday June 19,
2010
Tags dog, warranty plan, design, hell, hot, tongs, wide eyes, evil, insurance, animals
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired a confusopoly consultant to help us design an extended warranty plan." Dogbert says, "Our goal is to scare people into buying insurance that doesn't cover anything." Dogbert says, "I can't tell you where the contract was designed, but be careful because it's still hot."