Job Comic Strips - Page 90
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Character
936 Results for Job
View 891 - 900 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 14,
2019
Hiring Unethical Scientist
Tags suspicious, boss, lawyer, help, search, straightforward, scientist, bidding, money
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.
Thursday April 04,
2019
Asok In A Coma
Tags business, coffee, office, office workers, coma, dopamine
Transcript
dilbert running: ask appears to be in some kind of coma. what should we do? the boss: we see this a lot. his job is so boring that it caused his dopamine to crash. the boss: show him some funny car videos and give him a coffee i.v. dilbert: part of me doesn't want that to work.
Wednesday April 10,
2019
Alice Won't Shake Hands
Tags business, office, office workers, presentation, germs
Transcript
the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?
Sunday April 28,
2019
Wally Needs A Raise
Tags business, office, office workers, system, architect, Promotion, pay raise
Transcript
wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.
Wednesday April 24,
2019
Be More Like Alice
Tags complain, office, office workers, pay raise
Transcript
the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?
Friday May 03,
2019
Chatting With The Ceo
Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, ceo
Transcript
the boss: i saw you chatting with our eco. what was that all about? dilbert: we were talking about what a great job you do. dilbert: you believe that, right? the boss: seems plausible.
Sunday June 16,
2019
Tags business, office, rules, quotes, chaos, purchasing
Transcript
purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes. dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product. purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules. dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so. purchasing manager: that would be chaos. Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules. dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge. purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.
Tuesday July 09,
2019
Below Average
Monday July 15,
2019
More People Working At Home
Tags boss, employees, office, office workers
Transcript
Boss: The office is too quiet today. Carol: That's because more people are working from home. Boss: How can I do my job if I can't pop into people's cubicles and share my wisdom? Second question: why is everything running so smoothly lately?
Monday August 12,
2019
Leadership Conference In Maui
Tags boss, irritation, managers & supervisors, vacations
Transcript
Boss: The leadership conference is in Maui next week. I need you to sit in for me...and do your own job at the same time. While I'm drinking on the beach. Dilbert: I get it!!!

