Okay To Do Nothing? Comic Strips - Page 90

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921 Results for Okay To Do Nothing?

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Quotes Out Of Context

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Quotes Out Of Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #business, #context, #dumb, #employment, #face mask, #malice, #managers & supervisors, #out of context, #project, #quote, #writing

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co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

Proceed As If Nothing Happened

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Proceed As If Nothing Happened - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplish, #business, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #people, #project, #technology

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tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.

Can You Zoom Now

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Can You Zoom Now - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #text message, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #response, #anger, #lack of response

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dilbert sending text: are you available for a zoom call? dilbert thinking: he's typing something. nope, he stopped. okay, he's typing again. no, he stopped again. block of text: i'm available at 2 p.m. tomorrow, Thursday at 9 a.m., or next week any time after three, and now. dilbert sending text: perfect. how about now? dilbert thinking: answer coming. no, he stopped typing. ten minutes later: dilbert angry and yelling: answer me, you jerk!!! thirty minutes later: text answer: does now work? dilbert yelling: too late!!!

Lover Not A Fighter

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Lover Not A Fighter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #software, #price, #lover, #fighter, #report, #human resources, #bully, #sexual discrimination

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dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.

Cushion In Schedule

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Cushion In Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #weekend, #work, #deadline, #due date, #schedule, #input, #critical, #liar, #credibility, #exaggerate

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dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.

Satellite Launch

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Satellite Launch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #satellite, #launch, #radar, #alien, #spaceship, #systems, #technology, #reality, #suggestion, #rocket, #trajectory, #bird, #belgium

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dilbert in control room with others: we've triple-checked all systems, and we are ready to launch the satellite. nothing can go wrong. initiating launch. boss: nothing can go wrong? what if an alien spaceship appears over the launch site? dilbert: gaaa!!! don't jinx us. boss: that's not how reality works. i can't make things happen just by suggesting them. dilbert: you're wrong! that is exactly how reality works! wa;;y: something just appeared on radar directly above the rockets trajectory. boss: maybe it's a bird. wally: it's the size of belgium.

Assigning Dilbert To Project

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Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #network, #redesign, #project, #phase, #positive, #optimistic, #assign, #sarcasm

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boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

5 G Is 4 G

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5 G Is 4 G - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #wireless, #service, #5g, #4g, #complain, #impossible, #phone

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boss: we are rolling out our new 5G wireless service today. dilbert: we don't have any 5G technology. boss: it's really 4G, but no one wants that, so we call it 5G. dilbert: people will complain. boss: that's okay. we're also making it impossible to reach us by phone.

Trust Coworkers

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Trust Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #trust, #pretend, #different

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in office building boss: okay, team. we can get this done if we trust each other. alice: that's not a thing. dilbert: i don't trust any of you. boss: maybe we can pretend. dilbert: i'd need to pretend we're different people.

Read The Article

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Read The Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #article, #feedback, #time, #waste, #thoughts

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co-worker: can i get your thoughts on the article i emailed to you? dilbert: okay. my thoughts are that i don't want to waste my time reading any articles you send to me. co-worker: can you dive a bit deeper? dilbert: okay. i also don't like talking to you.