One You Of Ten Comic Strips - Page 90
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1000 Results for One You Of Ten
View 891 - 900 results for one you of ten comic strips. Discover the best "One You Of Ten" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 30,
2000
Tags #tom peters advice, #become own brand, #get me some
Transcript
Wally says to Alice while pouring himself a cup of coffee, "I'm going to follow Tom Peters' advice and become my own brand." Alice replies, "The phrase you're least likely to hear is, 'I gotta get me some of that." Wally walks away thinking, "Day one: Not so good."
Thursday September 07,
2000
Tags #amoeba, #boss, #cry, #cubicle, #doing work, #gets fired, #key board, #one cell organism, #secrete
Transcript
The Boss: This isn't working out. I have to let you go, Maybe you can get your old job back at far works. The Boss: Great, Now he's going to secrete.
Tuesday September 12,
2000
Tags #emergency flashlight, #plays flashilights, #jedi, #starwars, #immature
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I hid the emergency flashights so no one can play with them." Wally replies, "Who plays with flashlight? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." As Wally and Dilbert leaves, the Boss thinks to himself "The short Jedi will die first."
Friday September 22,
2000
Tags #doomed projects, #fake mergencies, #more efficient, #unnecessary meetings, #to do list
Transcript
Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."
Tuesday September 26,
2000
Tags #bought cisco, #cardboard box, #dogcart consults, #entrepreneurial, #misdialed bookie, #revive spirt
Transcript
The caption reads: "Dogbert consults." Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "You can revive the entrepreneurial spirit here by reminding people of the early years." Dogbert points to a picture of two homeless people. He says, "Your founders were two men who began in a cardboard box." Dogbert stands in front of the room of employees and says, "One bum midialed his bookie and accidently bought Cisco stock at the IPO."
Wednesday September 27,
2000
Tags #forty million dollars, #needs approval, #over budget, #whose side?
Transcript
Dilbert holds out a slip of paper to his Boss and says, "This needs your approval." The Boss looks at the piece of paper and Dilbert continues, "The company will save forty million dollars but you'll be ten thousand over budget." Dilbert says, "And before you ask, no it won't work the other way around." The Boss says, "Whose side are you on?"
Wednesday October 04,
2000
Tags #customer type, #feeble minded people, #reorganize, #second guess, #dogbert consults
Transcript
Dogbert is sitting at a conference table beside the boss, across from Dilbert and Wally. Dogbert says, "You need to reorganize by customer type." Gesturing toward the boss, Dogbert continues, "One division would focus on selling to feeble-minded people." The boss says, "Are you gesturing at me because I would work in that division?" Dogbert says, "What's your second guess?"
Monday October 09,
2000
Tags #misaligned, #position code, #module, #problem, #anonymous note, #disappearing link
Transcript
Catbert is standing on a desk and talking to Dilbert. Catbert says, "We can't pay this week because your position code is misaligned with your module." Catbert continues, "Worse yet, no one knows what that means or whose responsibility it is to fix it." Dilbert says, "Who told you about the problem?" Catbert says, "It was an anonymous note with disappearing ink."
Friday October 20,
2000
Tags #kiss daughter goodnight, #working too hard
Transcript
A man is standing in front of the boss. The man says, "You're working me too hard! I want to get home in time to kiss my daughter goodnight!" The man continues, "And I'm not the only one who feels this way." The boss says, "I've seen your daughter and I'm fairly certain you're the only one."
Thursday November 23,
2000
Tags #tips today, #how much, #three breath mints, #death threat, #scrawled napkin, #napkin guy
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally are both wearing aprons. Dilbert, counting money, asks Wally, "How much did you make in tips today?" Wally says, "Three breath mints and one death threat scrawled on a napkin." Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope I don't forget which breath mint came from the napkin guy."