Two Faced Employee Comic Strips - Page 90

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View 891 - 900 results for two faced employee comic strips. Discover the best "Two Faced Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaints, #skunk opera, #analogies, #understand analogies, #employees complain, #office, #cubicle, #human relations

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Boss: Sheesh! It feels as if every employee is complaining about one thing or another today. Carol: Maybe it's because your leadership has turned this place into a skunk opera. Luckily, you don't understand analogies. Boss: That one is about singing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #temporary ceo, #c level suite, #employee realtions, #boss, #cubicle, #insulting, #receptionist, #business

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Boss: The board named me temporary CEO. And guess who is coming with me to the C-level suite! Carol: It's me! Boss: No. And you're also a terrible guesser.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #ideas, #sock at, #steal ideas, #double workload, #employee, #boss, #professional realtionships

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Dilbert: I have a great idea? Boss: What kind? Is it the kind I scoff at, the kind I steal, or the kind that makes me double your workload? Dilbert: It might be all of those. Boss: Sounds good so far.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #vacations, #work harder, #no vacation, #boss, #time off, #employee

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Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #employees, #trusted advisor, #dumb plan, #boss, #employee, #saying no, #business

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Boss: Experts say I need employees who can say no to me. I'd like you to be my trusted adviser, Wally, because you can criticize every idea I have. Wally: No. That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. Boss: What? Wally: You heard me. Boss: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Wally: You could thank me for saying no. Boss: Why does that sound right?!!!! Wally: You're welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #electronic mail, #internet & world wide web, #scams, #enter bank acct, #employee, #boss

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WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alcoholic beverages, #retreat, #officers, #company slogan, #new slogan, #stop spitting, #alcohol involved

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Boss: Our officers came up with a new company slogan after two weeks at a retreat. The new slogan is "Shtop spitting ahn me when you talk!" We believe alcohol was involved.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avarice, #business ethics, #stock market, #stock split, #dumb stock holders, #fantastic prodcuts, #money

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CEO: The board has voted to do a stock split. It came down to a choice between creating fantastic products or attracting dumber stockholders. One of those two things is easy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #optimism, #rested, #feeling, #never happened, #flow, #dance, #sing, #light, #work, #office, #employee, #psychology

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Dilbert: Happy, happy, happy. Dilbert: I'm enjoying a bubble of optimism because I'm feeling rested and no one has been awful to me all day! Wally: How long does it usually last? Dilbert: I don't know. It's never happened before!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free food, #bus service, #massages, #smart, #ambitious people, #earplugs

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Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.