New Password Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Password

View 901 - 910 results for new password comic strips. Discover the best "New Password" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #bragging, #education, #ridiculous, #doubting, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I have an MBA from a top business school." Man says, "I'm a management expert because I read case studies about businesses that were in completely different situations." Man says, "Wait a minute. Why does that suddenly seem ridiculous?" Dilbert says, "Will this take much longer?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #spreadsheet, #yelling, #pain, #bored, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The MBA guy Man says, "I put together a spreadsheet that might interest you." The boss says, "Ow! Ow! It's so boring, it hurts my head!" The boss says, "My brain is trying to escape through my ear!" Man says, "I get this a lot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #witch, #new employee, #spreadsheet, #decision, #comparing, #angry, #offended

View Transcript

Transcript

The MBA verses the crazy old witch The boss says, "I don't know who to believe." The boss says, "Spreadsheets don't lie, but neither does bat excrement." The boss says, "Remind me again who ruined the economy. Was it witches?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #threat, #disagreement, #scared

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO versus the MBA Man says, "My analysis doesn't support your strategy." Dogbert says, "My analysis says I can hire there high school dropouts to slap you until it does." Man says, "No?please, not dropouts!" Dogbert says, "They will kick your assumptions."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #scoffing, #dismissive, #ignoring, #practicing, #compliment

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Book some one-on-one meetings for me so I can practice my new dismissive scoffing sound." Dilbert says, "?And then I think we should?" The boss says, "Phhht!" Dilbert says, "I like what you've done with your dismissive scoffing sound." The boss says, "20% more spittle!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #assignment, #describing, #happy, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #angry, #yelling, #assignment, #ridiculous, #overworked

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I need you to do product testing for our new release." Dilbert says, "How could I possible have time for all the work you keep giving me?" The boss says, "Have you tried sacrificing your health?" Dilbert says, "Do I look like I can run marathons?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #explaining, #plan, #delivery, #stuck, #arrow

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I found a less expensive delivery service for our oversees business packages." The boss says, "Find someone who is traveling to the same country as the package, shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, and hide the package under his hat." Carol thinks, "The first day of any new system is always a problem."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #rating, #performance, #reviews, #attributes, #explaining, #ridiculous, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We have new software for performance reviews." The boss says, "It has a category for everything." The boss says. "Fish-faced nincompoop! Bingo!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #explaining, #project, #annoyed, #angry, #lazy, #wasting, #time, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I spent the first part of the week installing our new productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our time reporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."