Sits Next To Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sits Next To

View 901 - 910 results for sits next to comic strips. Discover the best "Sits Next To" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unpaid overtime, #immoral, #quality of life, #designed stockholder value, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits on his desk. Alice says to him, "The mandatory upaid overtime is immoral. It's destroying the quality of my life." Catbert replies, "Alice, Alice, Alice . . . Companies are designed to maximize stockholder value, not employee happiness." Alice says, "Maybe the head of Human Resources should be a human." Catbert replies, "Privately I refer to myself as the Director of Disgruntled Cat Toys."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #different religions, #flexible, #change relgion, #whole religion, #based on not dating, #Sunday, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman at a desk tells Dilbert, "I'm flattered. But I can't date you because we're different religions." Dilbert says, "I'm flexible. I'd change my religion to get a date." The woman replies, "It wouldn't work in this case." Dilbert sits on the couch and asks Dogbert, "Did you know there's a whole religion based on not dating me?" Dogbert asks, "Where do you think I go every Sunday?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ntern, #elbonian data base, #installing, #bad movies, #password

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits at a desk. Asok stands behind him and asks, "I am only an intern, but may I make a suggestion?" Asok says, "The Elbonian database system you're installing for our company will never work . . . Unless I rewrite the entire thing with just six keystrokes . . . Done." Ratbert says, "I thought this was only possible in bad movies." Asok says, "Hey, let's hack into NATO's system. I can guess their password in three tries."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #direct flight, #aisle seat, #upgrade, #first class, #overhead bin, #north korea, #non smoking, #anti aircraft fire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and says into the telephone, "I'd like a direct flight . . . Aisle seat . . . And an upgrade to first class if possible." The airline ticket agent replies, "The best I can do is to put you in an overhead luggage bin . . . With one stop in North Korea." Dilbert asks, "Is it non-smoking?" The ticket salesperson replies, "That depends on how accurate the anti-aircraft fire is."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marilyn vos savant, #smartest human alive, #often flier program, #phone comapny, #who saves most?, #brain scarred

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with stacks of brochures in front of him. Dogbert stands on the table and says, "This is Marilyn Vos Savant, the smartest human alive." A woman stands behind Dogbert. Dogbert says, "She will help you understand your airline 'Often Flier' program." Marilyn looks at a brochure and says, "I'm stumped." Dilbert asks, "After this, could you tell me which phone company saves me the most money?" Marilyn replies, "My brain's trying to escape; you scared it." Her brain crawls out her ear.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decoy suitcase, #airline distracted, #lose decoy, #sneak, #emergency carry on, #eat their food

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the dresser watching Dilbert pack. Dilbert closes a suitcase and tells Dogbert, "This suitcase is the decoy." Dilbert explains, "While the airline is distracted trying to lose the decoy, I'll sneak aboard with this emergency carry-on bag." Dogbert asks, "What if they try to make you eat their food?" Dogbert replies, "Fake vomit. They'll think I already ate."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hotel, #tip door man, #bell hop, #hotel zombies, #bag losing, #reservation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a taxi cab holding his suitcase. A doorman opens the door and says, "Welcome to the hotel, allow me to touch your bag so you'll feel obligated to tip me." Dilbert hugs his bag and walks past three bellmen. He thinks, "I've got to make it through the gauntlet of bag-losing hotel zombies." The hotel employees think about money as they reach for his bag. Dilbert stands at the counter and says to a woman, "No room?!! I have a reservation!!" The clerk replies, "Oh, that's original." A bellhop reaches for Dilbert's luggage.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #description, #taxi, #cheat, #running the meter, #flat rate, #poor language skills, #efficnecy, #taxi running people

View Transcript

Transcript

An attendant says to Dilbert, "This taxi is yours. Here's a description of how he'll cheat you." Dilbert sits in the back of the taxi cab and says, "It says you'll be running the meter despite the flat rate. Then you'll feign poor language skills when I question you." The driver looks crazy. Dilbert says, "I can't fault your efficiency, though." The driver hits a bicycle and a pedestrian.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business traveler, #wrinkle free, #the wrapper, #wrinkled suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man and a woman. He is wearing a wrinkled suit. The other people stare at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "When I bought this suit, it said 'wrinkle-free' on the wrapper." The man asks, "The wrapper?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertisement, #elbonia, #grainy photos, #pig, #mail order bride, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally tells Dilbert, "I've decided to end my loneliness by getting a mail-order bride from Elbonia." Wally continues, "The photos were grainy, but the advertisement guarantees that she's cute." In Elbonia, a man holds a telephone and tells another man, "Blonde." The man reaches into a box of wigs and selects a blonde wig. A pig wearing a dress stands next to him.