Asok Comic Strips - Page 91
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Character
963 Results for Asok
View 901 - 910 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 27,
2018
Wally Mentors To Death
Tags asok, Wally, successful, definition, minimum, alive, employed, comas, ruling
Transcript
Asok: Have you ever mentored anyone who went on to be successful? Wally: Depends on your definition of success. Asok: Well, at minimum, they'd need to be alive and gainfully employed. Wally: What's your ruling on comas?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday September 19,
2018
Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag
Tags alice, the boss, asok, Wally, Dilbert, accomplish, addicted, apps, fortnite, slept, losers, podcast
Transcript
Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit. The Boss: What about the rest of you losers? Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.
Monday October 01,
2018
Use Company Products
Tags Dilbert, the boss, Wally, asok, alice, attention, products, required, use, bad, sign
Transcript
The Boss: It has come to my attention that none of you use the products we make. From now on you are all required to use our products. Asok: Aaaarg!!! Dilbert: Shoot me. The Boss: That's a bad sign. Wally: Nooo!!!
Sunday November 04,
2018
Tags Advice, business, criticism, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers
Transcript
Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.
Thursday November 15,
2018
Complaining Versus Hiding
Tags boss, complaining, employees, employment, jobs, managers & supervisors
Transcript
Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.
Monday November 19,
2018
Sabotage The Plan
Tags boss, engineering, managers & supervisors, plan, sabatoge, incompetent
Transcript
Dilbert: We know our boss's plan is a bad idea, but it's our job to execute anyway. Wally: Maybe we should try to sabotage the plan by being incompetent. Dilbert: Since when do you need a reason to be incompetent? Wally: It's more of a "nice but not necessary" situation.
Wednesday November 28,
2018
Sending Email At Night
Tags email, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?
Wednesday January 02,
2019
Boxes With Names
Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, suspicious, layoff
Transcript
Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?
Tuesday January 08,
2019
First Ai As Smart As Humans
Tags intelligence, invention, office workers, robot, technology, logic, conspiracy, humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.
Thursday January 10,
2019
Ai With Bad Analogies
Tags engineering, questions, robot, technology, humans, rational
Transcript
Dilbert: My breakthrough in A.I. came when I stopped trying to duplicate human rational thought. Dogbert: You can't copy what doesn't exist. Dilbert: Right. So instead I coded it to spout analogies to sound human. Asok: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Robot: Trees don't ask for raises, so why should you?

