New Projects Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Projects

View 901 - 910 results for new projects comic strips. Discover the best "New Projects" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #promote, #excited, #dance, #annoyed, #arrogant, #limbo, #exist

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, you've been such a good intern that I've decided to promote you." The Boss says, "Your new status is called limbo. You will exist in a plane between the living and the damned." Asok says, "Yes!!! I will exist!" The Boss says, "Great. It went right to his head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #boss, #angry, #annoyed, #motivate, #fail, #read face, #wave hand, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Once again, you have failed to motivate me." Wally says, "You said we shouldn't be motivated by money, so I'm waiting for the new thing to kick in." Wally says, "I'm not good at reading faces, but I think there's something happening over in this region."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #director of purchasing, #dinosaur, #new system, #annoyed, #revenge, #oil, #gas, #extinct, #suv, #ancestors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Bob is the director of purchasing. He's here to describe our new procurement proces." Bob says, "Our system divides products into two categories: Things you don't want, and things you're not allowed to buy." Bob says, "It's my way of saying thanks for lubing your SUV with my dead ancestors."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #train mailroom guy, #worthjless, #unimportant, #email, #shovel emails, #recycling bins, #clean desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to train the new mailroom guy." Wally says, "Why me?" The Boss says, "Because he's unimportant and you're worthless." Wally says, "Okay, I was worried that it was the other way around." Wally says, "All important messages are sent by e-mail." Wally says, "So your job is to shovel all of the regular mail into recycling bins." Wally says, "We won't be paying you, but you can use packages and tape to build your own igloo." Two weeks later The Boss says, "Why is my desk so clean?" Wally says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new goatee, #mankly, #intellectual, #lazy, #saw a flea

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Does my new goatee make me look manly and intellectual at the same time?" Dilbert says, "It makes you look too lazy to shave around your lips." Dilbert says, "And I think I saw a flea." Wally says, "Yeah. That one is resistant to soup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #experinced, #industry, #technology, #youth oriented, #culture, #modem, #hit with modem, #new technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Old man: I know what Im talking about. I have thirty years in this industry! Asok: How does that help you understand technology that is six months old in a youth oriented culture? Old man: GRRR... ASOK: Please don't hit me with your modem.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new years eve, #maybe, #better plans, #better offer, #get away with

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Amber, would you like to celebrate New Year's Even with me?" Amber says, "I'll say maybe. That way you can't make other plans and I can wait for a better offer." Amber says, "I can get away with it because of whatever is happening over there." Dilbert says, "Yup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new year resolutions, #dvr, #geeky science shows, #snore, #asthmatic cow, #impose resolutions, #habit chnagers, #behavior requests

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I made a list of demands for you new year's resolutions. Dilbert: Thous salt not fill up the DVR with geeky science shows. ....Thou shalt not snore like an asthmatic cow.... I didn't know other people could impose resolutions on me, Dogbert: Its a new thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prosperity, #competition (psychology)

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We're not creative enough to create whole new markets, the way apple does." The Boss says, "And we're not powerful enough for a fast follower strategy." The Boss says, "What we need is a sexy, strategic-sounding name for crumb-snatching." Dilbert says, "Niche player?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tax incentives, #capital investments, #pursue opportunities, #over burdened staff, #divert resocurces, #top priorities

View Transcript

Transcript

Demon says, "The government announced tax incentives for new capital investments." Dilbert says, "That's great. Now we can pursue marginally attractive opportunities with our overburdened staff." Demon says, "Is he always like this?" The Boss says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "I'll just divert resources from our top priorities."