Think Alike Comic Strips - Page 91

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Think Alike

View 901 - 910 results for think alike comic strips. Discover the best "Think Alike" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #loneliness, #accomplishments, #job interview, #hnesty, #wrong motives, #employment, #make a difference, #catatonic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Describe your biggest accomplishment from your last job. Interviewee: I made some phone calls and stuff. I think I made a difference. Boss: Do you want this job? Interviewee: Nah. Just lonely.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #origin story, #company, #need, #various things, #clear, #boss, #request, #office, #request secretary, #write up story, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Tina, I need you to write a company "Origin Story." All the cool companies have them. Tina: Why? Boss: Why? Well, for starters, we need it for various things and so on. I don't think I can be any clearer. Tina: I don't think you can, either.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business people, #business plan, #corporate dysfunction, #dishonesty, #incompetence, #longer, #lumbering monument, #seeking feedback, #more of the same

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I had a question about your feedback on my business plan. You called it a "lumbering monument to incompetence, dishonesty and corporate dysfunction." Alice: What's your question? Dilbert: Do you think it should be longer?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chocolate, #dark chocolate, #think better, #scientific sense, #magical thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Here's some dark chocolate. Studies show it makes you think better. Dilbert: Why are you suddenly doing things that make scientific sense, instead of your usual magical thinking? Boss: I just ate three pounds of dark chocolate. Dilbert: Wow. It works fast.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wounds & injuries, #work related injury, #year off, #with pay, #drinking coffee, #listening to podcast, #personal, #butt hurts, #kill, #murder, #surfing internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #work ethic, #growth hacker, #web apps, #perfect job, #growth hackers, #do nothing, #work from home

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We need a "growth hacker" for our web apps. I think I'd be perfect for that job. Boss: I've heard of growth hackers, but I have no idea what they do all day. You could do nothing and I wouldn't know the difference. Wally: And I could work from home.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #work ethic, #personal lifestley engineer, #career advice, #work and leisure, #hours per week, #ideal means

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: What kind of engineer are you? Wally: I'm a personal lifestyle engineer. I engineer my career to achieve an ideal balance of work and leisure. Woman: How many hours per week do you work? Wally: I don't think you know what "ideal" means.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #magic, #thinking, #incomplete data, #intuition and epxerince, #make decision, #magical thinking, #fixes ignorance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We have incomplete data, so I'll need to use my intuition and experience to make the decision. Dilbert: Because magical thinking fixes ignorance? Boss: Hush! I think I have something. Dilbert: I think so, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #not caring what others think, #total uslessness, #key to success, #discussion, #employees, #hoping it goes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Asok, the key to success is not caring what others think of you. Coincidentally, that is also the key to being totally useless. The important thing is that other people can't tell which way you're hoping it goes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bunch of names, #complaining, #name of new app, #new app, #underscore, #suggestions

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't like the name of our new app. You need to change it. Dilbert: Perhaps you can underscore your point by suggesting a bunch of names that are already taken. Do you mind if I think of other things while you do that?