Boss Doubts Dilbert Comic Strips - Page 91

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View 901 - 910 results for boss doubts dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Doubts Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human, #human nature, #arguing, #argument, #social media, #logic, #critic, #troll, #technology

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Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.

Boss Thought Of It First

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Boss Thought Of It First - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #credit, #ideas, #thinking

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Alice: And that's my idea. I think it's brilliant. Boss: I thought of that idea right before you said it. Alice: What are the odds of that? Boss: It happens to me all the time.

It Sounded Like Feng Shui

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It Sounded Like Feng Shui - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #obliviousness, #distraction, #attention

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Boss: Why haven't you finished writing the software? Dilbert: Because each of your interruptions took me out of the zone and turned a simple task into a nightmare. Catbert: What did he mean by that? Boss: It sounded like some sort of feng shui.

Boss Needs One Minute

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Boss Needs One Minute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #attention, #developer, #distraction, #frustration

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Boss: Do you have a minute? Dilbert: Yes. But I don't have the fifteen minutes it will take me to get back into the coding "zone" after your interruption. Boss: I only need one minute. Dilbert: What planet are you from?

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

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Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #stress, #deadline, #work load, #multitask, #compensation, #money

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Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

Technical Debt

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Technical Debt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #stress, #pressure, #coding, #programmer, #mistake, #technology

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Boss: Did you finish the software yet? Dilbert: No, I'm still paying off the technical debt from the last programmer you rushed. Boss: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: Well, that explains a lot.

Programming Environment

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Programming Environment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #productivity, #programmer, #engineer, #developer, #engineering

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Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work, #torture, #human resources, #hr, #manipulation, #content, #psychology, #business

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Catbert: The one called Dilbert is showing signs of happiness at work. Boss: That means we can give him more work and he won't quit. Excellent. Is anyone else exhibiting signs of unauthorized happiness? Catbert: No. Everyone else is in the narrow band of misery you want them to be in. If they were any happier, it would mean you're overpaying them. If they were any less happy, the would take their own lives. If you don't hear any laughing or screaming, it means you're doing something right. Boss: What about moans? Catbert: Moans are ideal. That's the sweet spot.

Boss Doesn't See Email

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Boss Doesn't See Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #laziness, #bureaucracy, #accident

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Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.

Oxygen Not In The Budget

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Oxygen Not In The Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #space flight, #astronaut, #oxygen, #breathing, #leadership, #obliviousness

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Boss: I'm happy to announce that we launched our company's spaceship to Mars. We only had enough in the budget to give them oxygen for three-quarters of the trip. So I told them to breathe smarter, not harder. It's called leadership.